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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23499565">Physical Assessment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Find_Me_Calling_You/pseuds/Find_Me_Calling_You'>Find_Me_Calling_You</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Actor RPF, Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Blow Jobs, Body Image, Break Up, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Consensual Somnophilia, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, First Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Kissing, M/M, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Penis Size, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, boys crying, very very mild watersports</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:28:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23499565</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Find_Me_Calling_You/pseuds/Find_Me_Calling_You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Armie's never been particularly fond of his body, going from pudgy, awkward kid, to freakishly-tall, awkward kid. And even when he finds peace with his general appearance, there's still um, a very not-so-little problem below the belt. </p><p>Wandering from first college hook up, through first love, heartbreak, abstinence, and finally happiness with someone who helps Armie celebrate every bit of himself, including his magnificently sized penis.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armie Hammer/Original Female Character(s), Elizabeth Chambers/Armie Hammer, Nick Delli Santi/Armie Hammer, Original Male Character(s)/Original Female Character(s), Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part One: Kat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First Time</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For notes about the dub-con scene, please see end of chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s embarrassing to talk about but it’s bound to come up in their relationship at some point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Timmy’s the sweetest person Armie’s ever met, nevermind how funny, brilliant, and talented he is. Armie had immediately clicked with him, so when they got into a very heavy makeout session after their third date, he’d gently stopped Tim and let him know he wasn’t quite comfortable with sex right now. And Timmy had just smiled at him. Nodded, calm and understanding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay. We don’t have to rush anything, but I still want to kiss you.” And Armie could have melted as he tugged Timmy back into his arms and they spent the rest of the afternoon rolling around Armie’s sectional snuggling, tickling, kissing, laughing. He’d never been more comfortable with a partner, which made him all the more terrified of the subject coming up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Puberty sucked for everybody but it seemed to be a particularly difficult time for Armie Hammer. He’d always been a sort of soft, slightly pudgy, and very awkward kid of average height but the summer he was 14, he grew seemingly overnight into a very tall, lanky teenager and he felt absolutely no less awkward. His skin stayed somewhat clear, a small mercy, but his voice cracked off and on for a couple years, way longer than his classmates’ seemed to. His brother seemed to take an almost maniacal level of joy in teasing him for the hair that was growing way too many places on his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And worst of all, well...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the end of senior year, he had filled out, broad chest, well defined muscles from years of skating, surfing, running, just being an active kid. His voice had suddenly settled into a deep timbre which seemed to get stares from several of the girls when he read aloud in class. It just made him that much more paranoid to fuck up on a word. He also made it a habit to slouch as much as he could between classes but there was only so much you could do when you were six-foot-five.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hoped he’d be more normal at college, where there had to be a wider variety of people, and ways for him to interact more with others when he started his classes at UCLA (his father insisted that he declare his major as business, but Armie argued back at least starting with general education.) It would buy him at least a semester to figure out what he really wanted to do. Something that would make an impact, but versatile, hopefully with good job security.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first week of classes went smoothly. He still towered over pretty much everyone else, but other than a few girls and even a couple guys giving him appraising looks and a little nod, a smirk like they wanted his body and nothing to do with Armie himself, it was a much more pleasant experience than high school. On Friday, a very pretty, very petite girl with a blonde ponytail and thick rimmed glasses wandered over to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remind me of your name again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Technically it’s Armand, but I grew up with everyone calling me Armie.” The girl smiled at him, reached out, stroked his hair out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which do you prefer?” Armie could only shrug helplessly, not sure which one would help him fit in better. “Well, my name’s Mary Katherine, yes that’s all a first name, Catholic life, but you can call me Kat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, um…” Armie still couldn’t figure out what she wanted and her face softened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, you’re really cute. And you seem very genuine. Which is rare, so I want you to come to our party tonight.” Armie’s eyes widened as Kat drew a folded up scrap of paper from between her breasts. “Here’s the address and my number. Nine o’clock. It’s typically BYOB but my big brother was home last weekend so we are very well stocked up.” She grinned at him and he managed a shy smile back. “Nothing fancy, just be you. I’ll see you tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The following hour was one of the most embarrassing of his life as he wandered what he hoped was casually through the CVS. The way Kat was looking at him and the way she handed him the paper with her address, he wasn’t stupid. But she seemed nice, and hadn’t crossed any lines. Three different girls had snuck up on him and grabbed his crotch the last two months of high school and he had found each experience deeply uncomfortable and absolutely mortifying. One very publicly which Armie had practically yelped and run from, lead to rumors he was gay and that made the final days of his high school experience hell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew he could never talk about it with his family, but from what he could tell watching porn, there were different things he liked about men, women, and even a couple of his favorite people who made home porn that described themselves at intersex. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do with any of them; he knew what the mechanics of sex were obviously, and he’d found an interest in a Japanese practice called shibari that involved ropes and series of complex knots. He’d always enjoyed the different knots when he was learning to sail in the Caymans so the process and formation of these knots appealed to his brain in the same way. But he can’t see himself ever being able to tie a partner up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally worked up the courage to make his way to the condoms, he could feel his face heat as he started at the plethora of options. Some advertised “Fire and Ice,” some were ribbed, whatever that meant, and some proclaimed a wide variety of flavors. Armie's not sure he’d ever think of some of them belonging on a penis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he finds something that he hopes will work for his size but is also relatively normal, he near bolts for the checkout, pays and heads back to his dorm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing fancy, just be yourself.” He was lucky to be one of the very few freshmen with a single dorm. It was consequently the size of a closet and didn’t have an attached bathroom, but it was a place to sleep, with privacy and solitude when he needed it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking through his minimal collection of clothes, he finally settles on a light grey sweater and pushes his sleeves up to his elbows. He has a pair of jeans that fit him well (for once the inseam isn’t too short) and he pairs them with a pair of dark brown boots. This would be okay, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tucks a couple of the condoms in his pocket, looks up the address for the party and sets out, texting Kat to let her know he’s on his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he arrived, there were maybe twenty five or thirty people at varying levels of intoxication. Some had obviously been partying away for some time, others were nursing beers, chatting, laughing. There was football on the TV, cards and backgammon set up in the dining room, and he felt slightly less scared. This wasn’t a wild MTV keg rager. It was friends having fun on Friday night. Maybe even he could make a friend or two here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he didn’t make himself any more painfully awkward than he naturally was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, Kat spots him right away and waves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Armie!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Kat.” He manages in return, his smile feeling less forced than it usually did as he joined her on the couch. There’s a cluster of beer in the middle of the table and Kat passes him a Dos Equis. It’s not his favorite from the few times he’s had beer but it’s definitely not bad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, this is Emma, her boyfriend Sean, and these are my sisters Becca and Kelsey.” There’s a pretty girl with rich dark skin sitting pressed against the side of a Philipinno man with an easy smile and kind eyes. Kat’s sisters look like her, all with white blonde hair and bright green eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, it’s nice to meet you all.”  Emma and Sean return his greeting but one of Kat’s sisters leans forward with a grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie is it? Like an army soldier?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s short for Armand.” Armie fights back a cringe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s so cute.” She giggles and Armie’s not quite sure how to respond. “Has Kat told you that you look like an Abercrombie model? Like, you’re really hot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Becca!” The other one, Kelsey hisses while Kat shakes her head, laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ignore her. There’s been a lot of wine this afternoon. So, what are you studying?” Armie shrugs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gen ed for now. My dad’s really pushing me to pursue business and finance but it just doesn’t feel right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it doesn’t.” Emma chimes in. “Those majors are gross and attract douchebags. And despite your model looks, you don’t seem like an asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, thank you?” Armie tries and Emma shakes her head as Sean laughs lightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to major in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really know.” It’s the first time he’s ever felt like he can speak freely with his peers and maybe not be judged. “I want to do something that puts something good out into the world. But I also feel like I need job security, but I’m not sure I’m a good fit for a 9-to-5.” Kat, Emma, and Sean all exchange grins. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re going to recruit you to their cult.” Kelsey rolls her eyes. Becca has already gotten up and is gleefully raiding the minibar in the corner. “Excuse me, I need to deal with my sister.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What cult?” Armie’s suddenly nervous, especially of the way Kat and Emma are grinning at him. Sean is chuckling though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man, don’t let them get to you. We’re only kind of a cult. No pressure to join. But it would be pretty baller to have another male nurse in the group.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You all want to go into nursing?” Armie is surprised. Each of them seem so different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely. Despite this shitshow of a for-profit disaster the US is running, I want to take care of my fellow humans.” Emma says, passion in her eyes and posture fierce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you can even do travel nursing, which can get you buku bucks and let you see a lot of cool places for free. You won’t be anywhere long enough to get bored until you find out what you want to specialize in.” Kat explains, grinning. “But yeah, same desire at the core, I want to do something that matters.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I want to know I’ve done something that helped someone in need every day. Plus I’ve seen my mom, two aunts, and a grandmother go through breast cancer and now my cousin has glioblastoma. So I want to work in oncology, to give back to the nurses who helped us so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Plus UCLA has one of the best nursing schools in the country.” Emma chimes in again. “Look into it. If you’re inclined towards science at all, you’ll love it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve always been more of a history and literature person, but I don’t dislike science. I took an AP bio class and it was really cool.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There you go.” Emma tips her beer towards him as if she’s already decided his career for him. It’s not something he ever thought of, but maybe he should explore it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Conversation flows more naturally once he’s on his second beer and he finds himself laughing with Kat and her friends. A few others pass by the corner of the sectional they’re clustered on but few linger longer than a few minutes. No one is mean to him and people actually listen when he says something. One girl looks at him and wolf whistles, but another girl who is obviously with her bursts out laughing and grabs her butt, promptly dragging her girlfriend away, shouting a quick apology as she goes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he gets up to use the restroom, Kat is waiting when he opens the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no. It’s okay Armie. I was waiting for you, not the bathroom.” She steps close. Her hair’s down, wavy and soft looking across her shoulders. “Can I show you something?” Her voice is a whisper and Armie just nods, not trusting himself to speak as Kat takes his hand and guides him towards the staircase. Armie’s conscious of his steps as he follows Kat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My parents aren’t here for the weekend, so nobody’s going to bother us.” She still locks her door behind them and guides Armie to sit on the edge of the bed, threading his fingers through her own. “Are you okay with this?” Armie nods, trying not to seem too eager. Kat is sweet and he wonders what her hair feels like, what her skin tastes like. He also kind of really wants to grab her breasts, soft and supple against her skimpy tank top.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, um. I just...haven’t done this before.” Her eyes fill with worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.” Armie shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m ready. Can we just...explore and I’ll tell you if I need to stop?” She nods, reaching up, running her fingers through his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything you want.” And then she’s kissing him, slow, steady before she drags her lips down to his neck and he shivers at her breath against his skin as she nibbles near his collarbone. “Take your shirt off and lie down on your back.” Armie’s quick to obey, removing his shoes as well so he doesn’t end up putting his dirty boots in Kat’s clean bed. “You really are a gentleman.” Kat smiles down at him and the next thing he knows, her top is gone, strapless bra quickly following.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow.” He can’t help himself and Kat giggles, leaning down to kiss him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can touch if you want.” It’s mildly terrifying, but he carefully cups her breasts between them, sliding his thumbs over her nipples, feeling them stiffen slightly against his touch. He isn’t quite sure exactly what he’s supposed to do but he knows he doesn’t want to hurt her. He squeezes, just one at a time, so soft, just enough to have Kat panting against his lips. She lets out the tiniest moan when he experiments with thumbing her erect nipples.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels a little more confident kissing her now that they’ve done it a few times and he releases her breasts, gently pulls her towards him until her breasts press against his chest and he wraps his arms around her, slides one around her waist, the other up to cradle the back of her neck as keep kissing, sliding his fingers through her soft blonde hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie.” She sighs into his mouth and now that he knows he’s done something right, he can relax a little, and he can feel his cock straining against his pants, positively aching at being restrained. He tries to be discreet in sliding a hand down to adjust it but Kat notices and sits up with a grin. “You want me to take care of that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to. I mean, I would really like it, but I don’t want to make you do anything.” Kat chuckles and leans in, gently guiding Armie’s hand away from the front of his pants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want, Armie. You’re a sweet guy, and I want this to be good for you if it’s your first time. And it really doesn’t hurt that you’re super gorgeous.” Armie blushes; it’s the second time he’s gotten </span>
  <em>
    <span>complimented</span>
  </em>
  <span> on his looks this evening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” He doesn’t know what else he can say but Kat just smiles at him and goes back to the task at hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God.” She can’t hold back a surprised squeak when his dick finally springs free from his jeans. Armie immediately wants to wilt, but he’s 18 and boners don’t just disappear that quickly. He still immediately scrambles to cover his lap with his sweater. “No, no, no. It’s okay, um. It’s just...wow.” She says, gentle and reassuring but ending on something that he couldn’t put a name to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with it?” Kat looks at him and her face crumples as she crawls up to him, kissing his cheeks, his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No sweetie, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s great. But uh, well, it’s just um...really, really...</span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> big.” Armie flushes deep red. He’d always heard chatter of bigger is better, but when he’d seen cocks even close to his size in porn, it always seemed like a struggle for their partner to be on the receiving end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hurt you.” Armie still holds his sweater over his lap as he looks at Kat, trying to gauge if she’s still interested. Thankfully her smile is sweet and her hand reaches down, pulls his sweater off. With a parting kiss, she slides down, examining it. Her hand doesn’t close fully around his girth and she can barely suck on the tip but Armie squirms, unable to contain a moan at the sensations.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat’s grinning when she pulls off the head of his cock, gently stroking him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to make you come first, or do you want to help me cum?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to help you.” Armie’s answer is instinctual, immediate. Kat grins at him, giggling lightly when Armie rummages in his pocket, emerging with a condom. He carefully opens it and begins to roll it down over his erection. It says it’s designed for large penises, but it’s still a pretty damn snug fit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, lemme just grab.” and she reaches over him for the bedside table, rummages through it and emerges with a triumphant “ah-ha!” In her hand is a bottle of what looks like lube. “This is good stuff, water based so it’s safe for toys and condoms and less irritating on skin. You never want to be um, dry if you’re touching a girl. I’m really wet just from looking at you, but you’re so big, I want to make sure everything is slick enough to feel good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She spreads the lube over Armie’s dick, smiling at it, almost watching for the little twitches of his hips when her hand twists a little at the tip, palm cupping the head. Armie can’t hold in another shuddering moan and she grins at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’ll really like this. It’s maybe kind of weird but it helps me come.” Armie nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything. I know you want this to be good for me, but I want to make sure you enjoy it too.” Kat smiles gently at him and then swings her leg over Armie’s hips. Armie’s cock is twitching from all the stimulation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, you know what, lemme see if it might work…” She guides the head to the mouth of her wet pussy and Armie’s terrified he’s going to immediately shoot off. She slides down, guides him into her and from the first roughly inch that slid in, Armie could tell this was simply not going to work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t force it. I want whatever works for you.” Armie says between heavy breaths. Kat looks at him; it’s obvious she’s trying not to look uncomfortable, but the relief as she guides Armie’s cock to rest against his groin and low belly is palpable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really would like to, but I think our original plan is going to work better.” And she spreads her pussy lips, revealing the pink folds, her wet entrance and her swollen clit almost waiting for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God you look amazing.” Kat chuckles lightly at his reverent whisper and guides herself down so Armie’s dick rests between her pussy lips. He can feel the hot leak of her slick against him and she’s already starting to rock so very lightly where the head is tucked up near her vulva, rubbing over her sensitive little clit. “That feels good?” He tries not to sound too hopeful but Kat lets out the softest of moans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So good Armie, just let me, yeah.” She keeps up her subtle rocking and Armie’s head tips back with a groan. It feels so good, all the wetness and warmth of her on his dick as she seeks her own pleasure. It’s ridiculously hot and he’s already thinking of ways not to come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat’s there with him in no time though and she’s making the softest, sexiest little breathy noises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie, I’m gonna, oh God, Armie.” She whimpers, mewls and Armie can feel her body shiver and quake against his, more hot fluid running down his dick, slicking his balls, and she’s still rocking back and forth. He’s never loved the sound of his name in someone’s mouth before and when Kat continues her light grinding, he can’t help himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck, fuck! Oh God!” He wants to crawl under a rock and die but all he can do is ride his orgasm to completion, hoping Kat isn’t furious at him for coming so unexpectedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh baby, that’s it. Just like that. You feel so good.” Kat’s murmuring to him, soft as ever and Armie’s shivering as he comes back to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that okay?” He can’t help himself from asking as he peels the condom off, tying it and carefully setting it on the nightstand. Kat grins and flops down next to him, cuddling into his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely perfect. How was it for you?” She’s got a look on her face that makes Armie blush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was amazing. So, just...so good.” Armie knows his brain and his mouth aren’t fully communicating yet but Kat giggles, tugs him into her arms and they doze off under a thick blanket Kat drags across their bodies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His freshman year flies by now that he has friends. After a few nights of contemplation, and a little research, he decides to pursue nursing. He visits the academic counselor’s office on Friday morning before classes and after a discussion and a couple small tweaks to his schedule, he’s good to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he shared his decision over burgers that night, his friends practically burst out cheering!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I knew there was something good in you, Hammer!” Emma pumps her fist. Sean is smiling wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is actually a compliment. I’m glad you’re joining the party, brother.” He reaches across the table to give Armie a firm handshake and Kat snorts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready for the wildest four years of your life? The nursing program is no joke.” She smirks lightly, teasing like she does sometimes and high on the feeling that he’s actually doing something right for the first time in ages, he smirks back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bring it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As fall fades in, they go to football games occasionally, but they also help Emma organize rallies supporting new immigrants, LGBTQ+ rights. Armie’s asked Emma several times how he can be a good ally without stepping on anyone’s toes and she looks at him with the tenderest expression before locking him in a fierce hug. The week of Halloween, he sits with her across from a police station one morning, wearing a “Black Lives Matter'' shirt, wiggling the pig nose that matches Emma’s as they eat donuts, smoke weed, and laugh hysterically every time one of the officers arrives at the station, glaring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They go to Planned Parenthood on most Saturday mornings and help escort nervous looking patients past the protestors, providing comfort and reassurance. Armie is frequently requested extra because the protestors seem to back away when they see he’s not only white and huge, but groomed like he belongs to the upper class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That ends in mid-November when Kat sighs heavily and drags him into her bathroom, wraps an old plastic rain poncho over his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like the brown, I really do, but I have this feeling you’re even hotter as a blonde.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How blonde?” He asks nervously and she grins.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me.” It turns out to be nothing like her almost white blonde hair and is a dark honey-caramel that seems to straddle the line between blonde and brown, a few gold highlights here and there tipping it to the blonde side of the spectrum. Kat also cuts it into a significantly more modern style.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ho. Ly. Shit.” Becca exclaims when they open the bathroom door to her and Kelsey getting home from work. “Armie, you went from like a 10 to a 15. Hottie, hottie alert! Seriously, why the fuck aren’t you modeling?” And Armie can only laugh, now used to her blunt manner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He and Kat aren’t quite in a relationship, but whenever she feels the need for sexual satisfaction, she’ll nibble on his earlobe, draw him away to somewhere private, usually her room at her parents’ house just off campus, or in Armie’s tiny dorm. It’s still as satisfying as the first time, unconventional, but he loves to watch her blush and squirm, listen to her little noises of pleasure as she grinds herself against his dick. Occasionally she’s a little too excitable about it and it hurts a little, but he knows she doesn’t mean it. They kiss a lot when they drink, but they still stay close friends more than anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tragedy hits when Sean’s cousin Ricky dies the day before Thanksgiving. Emma’s already there with him, but Armie immediately goes to Kat’s. She already has her brother’s car borrowed and they drive up to San Francisco to stay the rest of the holidays with him and his family, helping out with little odd jobs for the funeral or even household chores, whatever they can do to be of assistance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The funeral is early Monday morning and despite their Monday classes, they stay, celebrating Ricky’s life, grabbing food and smoking weed on the beach near the Golden Gate Bridge before they drive home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re all an even tighter knit group after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Armie goes home to Bel Air for Christmas, confident in his shirt that spells out HUMAN in different pride flags, with his freshly touched-up blonde hair, and informs them over afternoon tea that he’s decided on nursing, Michael backhands him hard while Vik rolls around on the floor laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What a faggot loser!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother tries to shave his head in the middle of the night and that’s when he packs his bags and leaves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spends Christmas Day alone in the dorms. He lets Kat know the day after Christmas that he’s back and she immediately invites him over. He has a late Christmas with them because her mother is an anesthesiologist and was on call through the holidays.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later, when they’re snuggled in bed, their naked legs tangled together, he lets her know everything that went on at home and she pulls his head to her chest, kisses the top of his head so softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have kept you company.” Armie just shrugs. It takes him a few minutes, but for the first time in a long time, he cries. Kat keeps stroking his hair and he stays the night, wrapped up with her in bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma and Sean are at the house by noon the next day, and as bad as he feels for interrupting their holiday, he’s grateful to be part of this very supportive little foursome.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spring semester goes smoothly aside from Spring Break. Armie’s parents start sending him large sums of money, temptation to make him come back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He goes for lunch one day but only to collect his passport and other documents. Ignores his mother’s not-very-subtle attempts to get him to go to a priest who specializes in exorcism. Tells his father no each time the man tries to tell him what a worthless profession nursing is. Tries to tell him with a disapproving sniff that if Armie insists on being in medicine, a doctor is the only reasonably appropriate job. Armie doesn’t want to be in school and residency into his thirties, so again, the answer is no.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vik pokes and prods him all lunch, asks him if he’s found anyone who can tolerate his horse cock or if it just means Armie’s taking it up the ass all the time. Not that it’s any of Vik’s business, but he would love to be on the receiving end of anal sex at some point. But his dick is still a very sensitive subject area. When the teasing continues through Armie organizing and packing more of his clothes to bring back to school, Viktor makes snide remarks about his sexuality and his body until Armie finally snaps. Before he can stop himself, he swings, punches his little brother so hard he falls off the bed. Vik has to lie on the floor, momentarily stunned as blood gushes from his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie is out of the house before Vik’s blubbering can reach his parents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They go to Baja for spring break and Armie experiments with a variety of tequila based cocktails, eats a lot of amazing food, and spends most of the days on the beach enjoying the sun, sand, and sea breeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sean and Emma are rooming together, obviously, and Armie and Kat have the other room. They paid the extra $10 a night for a king bed so Armie could stretch his long limbs. He sleeps better than he has in ages and wakes up most mornings to Kat smiling at him before climbing into his lap as they do their usual grinding, her wet folds against Armie’s morning wood. It’s on day three that it hits him, they haven’t used condoms all week and he promptly freaks out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat calms him down, let’s him feel the birth control implant in her arm, and reminds him that neither of them have sex with other people so there’s no immediate risk of giving each other anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the nights after they’ve been out dancing, Kat is thoroughly shit-faced and Armie gently guides her back to their room. Once inside, before he can stop her, she’s basically ripped Armie’s shorts and underwear down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just want you inside me.” She babbles, dragging him to the bed. “I just need to feel it.” Armie really doesn’t want to have sex right now but his body responds, there’s only so much he can do as an 18-year-old man. His hormones are still a little weird.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie insists multiple times that right now isn’t a good time but finally she yanks her dress off. She hadn’t been wearing anything underneath all night and when she pulls Armie’s fingers sloppily through her folds, she’s soaking wet with arousal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please Armie?” She begs and Armie bites his lip. He can’t quite say yes, but he’s almost afraid of saying no. She takes his silence as consent and crawls over his hips. She rubs her pussy against him a few times, firmly taking him from half-hard to hard. Then his dick is at her hot, wet entrance and she begins to slide onto his cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s tight. Really tight and she groans when the head pops inside. Armie’s trying desperately not to come. She tries pushing down further but he can feel her stretched to her body’s limit, and she’s whimpering in something that sounds more like pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God damn it.” She cries out when he lifts her off his cock, gently laying her in the bed next to him. “I fucking hate your cock. It’s just too big.” She’s crying but also still trying to rub herself off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped over him and his erection is gone about as quickly as it appeared. He rolls over to her, shushes her, kisses her hair as he pulls her close and reaches between her legs. The fact that she isn’t getting off seems to distress her more than anything else right now. He gently slides two fingers into her, stroking her inner walls the way she’s taught him to before and she moans softly. When he starts rolling his thumb in light circles on her clit, she lets out a moan and comes. He works her through it, his free hand stroking her hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He manages to get her dressed in panties and one of his shirts which fits her like a tent. She’s asleep before he even gets her fully tucked in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls out the sofa bed and gets dressed, burrowing himself under the spare blankets and sheets, hating his body and feeling worse than he has in ages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His sleep is restless, and when dawn comes, he walks down to the beach with a couple of woven blankets. He sets one on the sand, lies down, covers himself up with the other. Falls asleep to the sounds of the oceanside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When morning begins to give way to midday heat, he’s awake and makes his way back to the hotel, feeling a little better for having gotten some sleep but still dreading seeing Kat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie?” She’s awake and dressed, hair wet and dripping on her shirt where it’s pulled over her shoulder. “What happened last night? Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine.” He manages a small smile. “How much do you remember?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dancing, drinking way too much tequila. I think I took my dress off at some point but that’s about it. I think I may have made you finger me cause I was a little tender down there this morning.” She looks worried about him more than anything, and she’s still one of his best friends. If she truly can’t remember what she said, he isn’t going to be the one to bring it up. He does decide to tell her about her failed attempt to take his cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were really determined to get my cock into you again, but when you started showing signs of discomfort, I pulled you off and fingered you. That’s about it.” Kat nods slowly, her cheeks pinking. “I get kind of restless when I drink so I didn’t want to kick you.” Armie explained away the sofa bed. “I’ve actually, um. Can we talk about something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” He pulls the office chair away from the desk, sitting across from where she is at the edge of the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really glad for everything we’ve done together, and I still love you so much as a friend, but...I’ve been doing some self-reflection lately, and is it okay if we maybe, don’t have sex anymore?” She looks surprised but nods softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Armie, I’d never force you.” She bites her lip, looks down. “You mean it when you say we should still be friends?” He reaches out, takes her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were the first friend I’d had in </span>
  <em>
    <span>ages</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you’re a huge part of what’s made my college experience great so far. We’ll always be good friends.” She finally looks up. Her eyes are glassy with tears but she smiles through them, walks over to Armie, sits in his lap to hug him tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The very best of friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Summer passes too fast and too slow. They’re all scrambling to make sure all their prerequisites are done, their physicals passed, their shots up to date. Despite a few weeks of awkwardness, Armie and Kat find their way back to a comfortable friendship. Her parents even rent the spare bedroom in the basement to Armie for a very reasonable price. He thanks them by helping out with anything he can find around the house, even taking on little projects in the garden and keeping the patio and fence in good shape. Her father complains he doesn’t have any chores left. He always packs a lunch for Kat’s mom and makes a point to wash her scrubs. She kisses the top of his head then runs her fingers through his hair, against his scalp, and gives his shoulder a squeeze on her way to each one of her shifts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything’s in place when fall arrives. Kat is still going to be living off campus with her family. Emma and Sean have gotten a cute little apartment not too far away, and Armie moves back to the dorms to save a little money. He’s been transferring all the money his parents keep giving him into a new account he’s set up at a different bank, but he doesn’t know when that’s going to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nursing dorms are newer, sleeker. It’s still two people in a room but there’s room to walk, a decent bathroom for each room, a real closet instead of a cabinet, hell, his room even has a mini-fridge. Armie prays for his roommate to be nice, and hopes desperately that they never see him naked.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>On Spring Break, Kat is blackout drunk and insistent that Armie fuck her. Armie is not comfortable with the situation but Kat attempts to ride Armie's cock anyway. Armie pulls her off when it's obvious she's hurting and because her not getting sexual fulfillment appears to be distressing her, Armie fingers her to a quick orgasm then tucks her in.</p><p>As far as why I led Armie towards nursing, I suppose it's a write what you know kind of situation. *shrug* Happy Reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part Two: Nick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First Love, and First Heartbreak.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Caution: This chapter does contain some descriptions of injury and death, along with more wonderful behavior from the Hammers. For content warnings related to sex, please see end note.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Armie gets back from a quick grocery and beer run to the sound of a voice in his room. The clerk at the convenience store two blocks off campus has thought he was in his mid twenties from the time Armie ambled in as a freshman, ready to flash his fake ID, but the clerk had waved him away, told him he knew he was old enough. Armie had become their designated beer and wine retriever since then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fumbling with his keys, he takes a deep breath, swallowing back the wave of anxiety and nausea. He desperately hopes the guy he has to share a room with the whole year is nice. The door swings open finally and stepping into the room, his new roommate initially has his back to him, bent over a duffle bag and laughing at something the person he’s on the phone with says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie has already set the beer, groceries, and some Mexican take out on his desk when the boy turns, immediately fixing Armie with an almost hungry grin and wiggling his eyebrows a couple times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, roomie just got here and he’s ridiculously hot. Gotta go! Mwah!” The boy is very attractive. Just an inch or two shorter than Armie, thick, silky dark hair. Well sculpted but full brows and the deepest, darkest eyes Armie has ever seen. His skin is a soft golden olive and he has a bit of dark scruff around his mouth and on his cheeks. Armie immediately feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> but a bigger part of him wants to hide before he can even consider responding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if this guy is ridiculously handsome, Armie immediately gets the vibe that this guy wants him for sex and that makes Armie want to hide away for the rest of his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, no. I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?” Armie has collapsed to sit on the edge of his bed, staring at the most interesting speck of lint on the carpet. “Hey…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie jumps a little when the boy kneels down in front of him, finally making eye contact when the boy reaches out, tips his chin up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so shy. I’m sorry, I’m an asshole.” The boy shakes his head and lets Armie’s jaw go. It tingles when the boy takes his hand away. The boy then offers his right hand but doesn’t invade his space again. “Can we start again? Hi, I’m Nick Delli Santi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie Hammer.” Armie carefully takes Nick’s hand, watching how his fingers swallow Nick’s more slender ones. When they shake hands it’s firm though, and Nick smiles at him, so much more gently this time. His eyes are warm and soft and Armie immediately wants to curl up with this boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie? I’m assuming that’s short for something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armand.” Armie still cringes at his given name and Nick makes a face that draws a chuckle out of Armie. “Yeah, it’s a family name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I figured, I think you’re the only person under 80 I’ve met with that name. You poor thing.” Nick reaches out, runs his fingers across Armie’s cheekbone and then goes to cup his jaw for the briefest second before taking his hand away. Armie feels warm and again his cheek tingles where Nick has touched him but he can’t help but smile. Nick’s extremely tactile but despite his initial bluntness and immediate assessment of Armie’s looks, he seems very nice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go grab lunch? My treat for spooking you.” Nick asks and Armie shakes his head lightly, finally finding his voice again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I actually grabbed from Taco Boy, and got enough for two in case my roommate was here when I got back.” Nick grins at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And here we are! Also, Taco Boy, ugh, I love you!” Armie blushes light pink but Nick’s already up, foraging through the takeout bag before finally just bringing it over to the bed along with two beers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spend the afternoon playing the old Nintendo Gamecube Nick has hooked up to their television, plowing through the six pack of beer that was intended for their minifridge, taco and fajita shrapnel spread across their laps as they yell and laugh, beating each other up as Kirby and Mario in Super Smash Bros. Melee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick takes a small box out of his nightstand and opens the window to let the warm afternoon air in. And to let the smell out considering the sizeable stash of weed he’s got. He produces an elegant blown glass pipe from his pocket, grinds, packs and lights up, taking a hit before passing Armie the pipe and lighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Nick rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this the first time you’ve smoked pot?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Armie’s bordering on offended and Nick laughs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then accept I’m sharing with you.” Armie manages a small smile and takes a turn with the pipe, breathing in. It doesn’t burn as much as most of the weed Armie’s ever smoked this way, not as smooth as a bong, but nowhere near as rough as he expected. It’s also potent, a tingling head rush settling over him quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow.” Nick chuckles, leans his head on Armie’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna have a good year.” And it’s not just the pot that makes Armie agree with Nick. He has a good feeling about this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first week of semester is insanity and Armie’s scrambling to catch up before they even go to class. Sean’s book is missing its access code, which they need for their homework. Emma almost immediately gets into a heated discussion with a boy in her biomedical ethics class that results in both of them getting kicked out of the classroom and told to go in their separate directions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the clinical instructors makes Kat cry for finding white leather shoes with the tiniest bit of light blue piping. Armie was with her when she bought them and she had reported them being the most comfortable she’d tried on; they didn’t look that terrible, could they?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently one thin strip of blue piping was most definitely against the rules and would permanently damage her patients’ trust in her and who would want a nurse like that? In the lab, the same instructor then made her take out her extra earrings and told her if she couldn’t put them away in her bag immediately, they’d take care of throwing them out for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie manages to avoid any hijinks and even gets most of the reading done before lecture. It still leaves his head spinning though. Armie’s clinical instructor had initially looked like she wanted to say something about his plain white tennis shoes and just slightly off the perfect shade of blue scrub pants, but she had held her tongue when she saw Armie stand up and realized exactly how tall he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Friday afternoon, in the lab, is a different story. The oldest of the three instructors approaches him with a stern look on her face. She only comes up to about his nipple line, but Armie is immediately terrified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re being awfully insubordinate with that uniform, Armand.” Armie swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry, these were the only things that fit me.” Her face doesn’t soften and Armie wants to curl up and die. He hates being put on the spot like this, especially in front of strangers that he’ll be spending the next three years with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really want him walking around in high-waters?” A familiar voice comes from beside him and he looks over, deeply relieved to see Nick standing there. Dark eyes shoot him a reassuring glance before he speaks to their instructor again, offering her his arm like a storybook prince would. She’s trying to stay sour, but Nick’s unflappable courage is apparently something to respect because she reluctantly takes his arm. “I don’t know about you, but I’d be more concerned if my nurse was in shorts than a barely different color at all. And with how tall he is, that’s exactly what those school scrubs will look like on him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few people snicker, and Armie is relieved to see it doesn’t seem to really be at him, but at the ridiculousness of the instructor’s demands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Besides, there’s no way this lab could handle two ridiculously hot guys in heels.” Nick lets her go to do a little spin, showing off bright white Danskos. Several people, including Armie can’t contain their laughs. Even sour Mrs. Harrings is trying desperately not to crack a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Mr. Delli Santi, now please find your seat.” Nick smiles with a small bow and retreats to Armie’s side, dropping into the closest chair next to him. Armie’s uniform is no longer the point of discussion in the room and Armie shoots him a grateful look. Nick smiles back, easy and sincere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FYI, that was terrifying. You’re feeding me later.” Nick practically breathes, keeping his voice beyond whisper quiet. Armie has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first several weeks of the semester are so stressful with everyone finding their new routines just in time to realize nothing about the process is predictable. Exams and practicals for labs are terrifying. There’s nothing in the world that can train them for NCLEX-style questions, and Armie never quite expected to be getting up at 5am for old people to throw poop at him. Thankfully the aide he had been paired with for the day had warned him and he’d been able to dodge the assault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s after their second exam on Friday morning, kicking off the weekend of Indigenous Peoples’ Day, that Kat declares it’s beyond overdue for them to have one of their Friday night gatherings. Plus they could practice drug dosage calculations (Sean struggled with math) and practice their physical assessment skills on each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie half wants to just pass out after class but he knows this will be good for them all. It’s been ages since any of them have had a stress-free evening and he can’t wait. When he and Nick are calibrating the glucometers in the lab, he decides to invite his roommate. It’s only polite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, maybe it’s not quite your scene but my friends and I try to have a pretty low-key get together on Fridays and I was wondering if you want to come along.” Nick lights up like Armie just handed him a key to a diamond mine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds awesome. If they’re anything like you, I’m sure they’re great.” Armie smiles and can’t help tapping his shoulder against Nick’s, grinning when the other boy nudges him back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At Kat’s house, things seem to be progressing along their usual ways, games, drinking, catching up, but also lots of textbooks open everywhere between mountains of sweet snacks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a group on the couch gathered around Kat, who’s playing the dummy for a few others to practice their physical assessments, checking her lungs, heart, and bowel sounds. Finding her pulse points. Armie was officially terrified of the pulse points. The instructors had decided on the femoral pulse as one of the ones to check and it was so close to everything he liked to hide that he can’t imagine letting his classmates feel for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s grabbing his second beer when Nick slips in the front door and immediately smiles at Armie, making his way over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey man, thanks for inviting me.” Nick pulls him into a quick bro hug. Not the kind Nick gave him after he got a C on his first exam and wanted to crawl into a hole and die, long and warm, but just a quick, socially acceptable acknowledgement of the other’s presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely. It’s nothing fancy, but we try to just get together and have fun.” Armie shrugs. “I met Kat at one of her parties last year and then I made a couple other friends, and it was the three of them that convinced me to go into nursing and got me through my freshman year.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kat’s the little blonde playing anatomy dummy on the couch?” Nick nods his head slightly, watching as one of the drunker members of their class, a redheaded girl that Emma had made friends with, lightly grabs Kat’s tits, pretending to make her description sound like something medical. Soon, the group on the couch is howling with laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s great.” Armie nods and Nick smiles at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s in my clinical group. She’s just a tiny bit spacey, but she has such passion, she’s going to be a great nurse.” Armie doesn’t quite know what Nick’s getting at or if he’s just making an observation. He can be hard to read sometimes but Armie’s never heard him get rude with someone. He’s about to ask Nick his feelings about the upcoming physical assessment practical when suddenly someone calls from across the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, yo! It’s Niki Won-der!” Nick snickers and shakes his head lightly. He pats Armie on the shoulder before grabbing a beer and making his way over to a group of people bent over a drug dosage book. It’s in the gentle brush of their arms as Nick passes him that lets Armie know Nick isn’t abandoning him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s about to join Kat and the others at the couch when he hears an annoyed groan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the hell decided to invite Wonder Boy?” Emma waves her hand vaguely in the direction of Nick, who is eagerly discussing something in the drug guide with the group he joined. Armie swallows hard at Emma’s scowl but volunteers the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was me. He’s my roommate and I thought it would be nice to invite him. He seems like he gets on well with--” Emma cuts him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh believe me, everyone is already way too eager to get on with him, in so many different ways. He’s the golden boy of the ER I work at. Everybody wants him as their tech and he’s always just too busy for the newbies. Not to mention half the building wants to fuck him and he plays it up.” Emma shakes her head. “Like I’m not trying to slut-shame but he’s just such a pathetic person, I don’t understand the appeal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s actually really nice once you get to know him.” Armie is offended on Nick’s behalf. Though he had thought Nick was shallow at first too, the more he got to know him, the more he liked him. He was a good study partner, considerate roommate, and even sometimes Armie even thought of him as a best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The only people he gets to know, Armie, are people he wants to fuck, so I’d watch my back if you don’t want to be the next notch on his bedpost.” Armie rolled his eyes and Emma sighed at him, waving him off and disappearing back to wherever she came from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the rest of the night, he floats between his friends and various acquaintances and classmates before Kat is yawning, Emma is asleep in Sean’s lap, and even Nick looks sleepy where he’s curled up in an armchair by the fire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay guys, let’s get cleaned up.” Kat announces, and considering most of what they were doing this time was studying, there was plenty of booze to be divided up, but also lots of snacks. When everything is clean and Armie finishes helping Kat take out the trash, he gives her a soft kiss on the forehead for old times’ sake. She smiles and places a gentle hand against his heart. “Goodnight Armie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Night.” Armie murmurs back, making his way around to the front porch, surprised to see Nick waiting for him with a small smile. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m sorry if I cockblocked you tonight. You can go stay with your girlfriend.” Armie shakes his head fiercely as Nick stands up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no. It’s not like that. Hasn’t been in a long time.” Nick arches an eyebrow lightly as they make their way back to their dorm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? What happened? If you don’t mind my being nosey.” Nick’s voice is light but the curiosity is there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We just, we were better friends than we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and I just,” He hesitates but Nick is patient, quietly listening for Armie’s next word. “I didn’t feel like I was super compatible sexually with her so I mean, well, yeah.” He trailed off lamely. Nick gave him a light shrug and a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not every two people who care about each other are a good fit for sex.” Nick answers easily, like he truly isn’t judging Armie and the blond feels closer to his new friend than perhaps anyone from his time at college so far.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it’s that, or maybe it’s the bottle of vodka that Nick swiped from the party but by the time they’re back in the door, they’re giggling as they flop on their respective beds.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, let me get this straight though, you’re six-foot-five, drop dead gorgeous, and sweet as can be. And no one is sucking your cock on the regular?” Armie can’t help a chuckle but he flushes bright red as he shakes his head. “That’s a crime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.” Armie just gives a little shrug and Nick’s head pops up from his pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncomfortable? Armie, the only thing about your dick that makes me uncomfortable is that I can’t see it so I feel weird jerking off to it.” This time Armie really went scarlet, imagining Nick not just pleasuring himself, but getting himself off thinking of Armie...it was a lot. “Was that too much?” Nick had sobered, and was looking at him, worried. Armie shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really. Um, if you want to be on more equal footing, I uh, I’ve been thinking about you when I, y’know.” Armie can’t bring himself to say it. Nick looks like he wants to tease but instead stands up, pulls his shirt over his head, revealing gorgeous golden abs that it took everything in Armie not to stare at in the morning. His pants followed, leaving him in snug designer boxer-briefs. He’s palming himself through the thin material and Armie can tell that Nick is a decent size. Definitely proportional and a good size but nothing like what Armie was packing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think about you all the time.” Nick sits over his hips, leans down, brushes their lips together. “The things I want you to do to me, Armie.” Nick shivers and Armie runs his hands up and over Nick’s warm, smooth back, settling the brunette into place against him. “Do you want me to suck you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie bites his lip. There’s so much of him that’s screaming at him to jump at this opportunity with Nick but at the same time, what if Nick hates his penis like everyone else does? What if Nick not only decides he’s not into him, but that they can’t even be friends now that Nick’s hands have been on his genitals?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick’s eyes are soft when he meets his and he’s still got the most cautious little glimmer of hope in his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I truly don’t want to force you. If now isn’t the right time, it’s not the right time and I’ll just need to go rub one out real quick. I just want you to know, when you want to hide yourself away, like you don’t know you’re beautiful, try to remember that you’re all of my wet dreams come to life.” Armie swallows hard at this information. Nick is also sitting extremely close now, and throwing caution to the wind, he can only surge up and kiss Nick with everything he has.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OH, fuck, yesss! Armie!” They roll around in the bed for longer than Armie can imagine. Armie’s shirt is gone nearly immediately and the touch of Nick’s skin on his sends a shiver up his spine, firm muscles and strong arms, with the softest dusting of hair that mirrors Armie’s. Their kisses aren’t like the sweet exchanges he and Kat used to share. This was brutal, raw, aching </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and God, did Armie ever want anything and everything Nick was willing to give him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they finally had to break for air, Nick drops his head to Armie’s chest, kissing the skin lightly as his hands get to work on Armie’s fly. Armie tries to warn him, ends up shouting “proportional!” But nothing can now stop it from springing free from Armie’s pants as soon as Nick has enough fabric out of the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whoa!” Nick looks equal parts surprised and shocked. He seems more excited by it than not, but there was also a hint of something Armie can’t put a name to. “That cannot be real.” Armie wants to hide and grabs for his pillow, ready to stuff it into his crotch. “No, no, no. Armie.” Nick’s hands are gentle and land on his hands where they’re trying to cover his crotch. “Hey, look at me.” Nick’s voice is soft and Armie cautiously meets his friend’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but there’s nothing wrong with you or your dick. It’s just surprising because I have never seen one that big before. That doesn’t make me want to suck it any less.” Armie’s face flames but he manages a small nod. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, if you want to.” Armie says softly. Nick lets out a tiny laugh, mutters the words back to him and goes back to stripping Armie of his pants. Their boxers are gone soon and Nick moves more slowly this time, rolling Armie onto his side and giving him a long, lingering kiss. Lets the tension drain from Armie’s body before he reaches between them, guides their cocks to bump and nudge the other’s. It’s immediately electric and Armie can’t contain the little moans he lets out every time he feels Nick’s erection against his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it, just like that. We don’t have to go any faster than you want. This is already amazing. You’re so fucking gorgeous, Armie.” Nick whispers against his lips, his cheeks, down his neck. “Are you doing okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm.” Armie nods and meets Nick’s eyes, grateful that his friend is calm and warm as ever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Awesome, now lemme do this for you.” Nick kisses the middle of his sternum, down his belly, gently guides Armie’s cock out of the way to drag his lips across the sensitive skin of Armie’s groin, just above the line of his pubic hair. Armie wants to squirm and sigh and push into the touch all at once. For all the intensity in their kisses, this is so new, so tender; he loves it, and he loves that it’s Nick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There we go, just relax.” Nick kisses his hip and moves, wetting his lips before opening his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God.” Armie can’t help the thrust his hips make when Nick drags his tongue up Armie’s frenulum and into the slit that’s leaking pre-cum. He wants to apologize, but Nick is just grinning up at him before opening his mouth wide, guiding Armie’s cock in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a snug fit. When Nick has to swallow, Armie feels the barest graze of teeth against his cock, but the sensation actually turns him on. Makes him shiver with the trust and intimacy of the situation. That he’s trusting such a fragile part of his body to Nick’s mouth. And it’s wet, so wet. Nick’s tongue teases the underside of his head and Armie whimpers, helplessly makes a few shallow thrusts. Nick manages to accommodate them and when the head of Armie’s cock fills the back of his throat, he moans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The vibration of Nick’s throat around the sensitive head is too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck, no, Nick, I’m--fuck.” Armie can’t hold his orgasm back any longer but Nick understands, moving back slightly to just suckle on the head, getting a mouthful of Armie’s come. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” Nick lightly swats his inner thigh, gulping down each pulse of come as it leaves Armie’s still throbbing cock. When Armie’s orgasm finally tapers off, he drops back to the bed, an arm over his face. Nick gives his still twitching dick a few kitten licks and a parting kiss before crawling back up Armie’s body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t hide.” Nick kisses his cheek and nuzzles his face until Armie drops his arm. “Don’t apologize for coming, Armie. I wanted a mouthful of your come. And I knew you were going to go off pretty fast because it was the first time someone sucked your cock. It’s okay.” Nick strokes the skin of his chest, his arms and Armie settles into his embrace, finally allowing his body to settle into a comfortable, post orgasm haze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still want to warn you better next time.” Nick grins. “If there is a next time?” Armie adds hesitantly and Nick laughs, leans in and kisses him deep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As many next times as you want.” Armie smiles and wants to reach out to pull Nick closer but the other boy is still holding his hips carefully away from Armie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to, um?” Armie asks, looking down at Nick’s erection. It was a dark red by now, Nick’s balls drawn up, swollen and full at the base.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only if you want to. And you don’t have to put it in your mouth, if you don’t want to. And if it’s too much for tonight, I can go jerk off real quick. It’s okay.” Nick’s hands are stroking his back, his shoulders, his hair and Armie swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least let me try.” Armie gives him a small smile and presses his lips to Nick’s shoulder before he moves down the bed, coming face to face with Nick’s cock, twitching and full, standing up proudly from the nest of short dark curls. Nick was a good size. Armie knew objectively, Nick would be considered big, but it was proportional to his frame. He also had foreskin, something Armie had rarely thought about because he wasn’t sure he would ever encounter an intact cock. “Um, is there anything special I need to do for…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah. I’m a little extra sensitive, especially on the head, but if I’m this hard, everything’s kind of tender you know. You can play with it, just don’t pull it back too far. I trust you. Just do what you’re comfortable doing.” Nick’s fingers stroke though his hair, the other boy’s voice steady and warm as it washed over Armie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deep breath. Now or never. Armie wrapped his hand around the base of Nick’s cock, steadying it as he licked his way up the vein on the underside, feeling a tremor and low moan go through Nick’s body. Then he focused on the head, tonguing the slit until Nick let out the tiniest whimper, turning his attention to where Nick’s foreskin held on at the frenulum, licking gently over the thin flesh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jesus, Armie. So good, you’re so good.” Nick was whispering and Armie smiled, spurred on by Nick’s words of praise. He puts the head of Nick’s cock in his mouth and suckles softly, listening to Nick cry out before he opened his mouth more, letting Nick slide over his tongue, into his throat. Nick’s hips were twitching with effort not to thrust so Armie began bobbing his head, dragging his lips along Nick’s cock. “Oh fuck yes, just like that. God, you’re amazing, oh fuck, Armie, I think I’m gonna come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie refocused his effort along the line of his retracted foreskin, bobbing his head, increasing his suction a little until Nick shouted and his mouth was full of hot, thick, saltiness. When Nick’s cock had finished pulsing against his tongue, he gently removed it from his mouth, guiding the foreskin gently back over the head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to swallow if you think it’s gross.” Armie shook his head, explored the taste and sensation on his tongue before swallowing it down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not gross, that’s just the first time I’ve had somebody come in my mouth so I was just...I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Analyzing, thinking. Because that’s what that busy brain of yours is always doing.” Nick smiles softly and Armie crawls up, settles into his arms again, the two of them huddled close on Armie’s bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, for...all of that.” Nick shakes his head with a tiny smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to thank me for having sex with you. Sex is all about consent. If both partners want it, there’s mutual desire, mutual want. It's a human connection, not a good to be exchanged for favor.” Nick strokes his fingers through Armie’s chest hair and the blonde squirms against the touch. “I wanted to have sex with you, you wanted to have sex with me, we’re both happy. No need to say thank yous.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still feel like I should thank you. For dealing with me, especially my um, freakishly large penis.” Nick snorts and shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie, you’re a big dude, you’re gonna have a big dick. You’re just extremely well hung, even for your stature. Be happy you don’t have that dick but be a foot shorter. You’d need to sew an extra leg into your pants.” Armie cracks up at the visual and nudges his head against Nick’s, grateful for the honest assessment. “Now get some sleep, I want the energy for us to have more fun in the morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie falls asleep holding Nick in his arms, never feeling warmer or safer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fall semester marches on. He’s eternally grateful to have Nick as his lab partner when they do the physical assessment, Nick calm and cool under pressure as he palpates Armie’s femoral pulse points. They both pass easily on the first try. It’s harder for Sean, he goes just over the time limit, but he was so thorough, the instructors passed him. Emma and Kat both have to repeat, Kat for forgetting about her abdominal/bowel sound assessment, and Emma for picking a fight with the lab instructor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and they decide to party Wednesday evening before everyone heads home or to a Friendsgiving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat and Nick have clinicals until noon but when Armie hasn’t heard from Kat by two, he’s officially worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes his way to Kat’s. She’s sitting on the front porch in her clinical uniform, looking haunted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” He drops to her side. She’s pale, trembling. “Kat, do you need me to get your mom?” She shakes her head fiercely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no. Just, I should take a shower, I think.” Armie nods, helps her up, guides her inside and up to her bathroom, taking her scrubs down to the basement to throw in the washer. He gets back upstairs before Kat is out of the shower and lays out clothes on her bed.  He party-preps downstairs but it’s more subdued than usual. He also sends out an SOS to Sean and Emma.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re both there, assembled in their little group by the time Kat comes downstairs and drops onto the couch between Armie and Emma.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their usual guests filter in, Armie sliding into the role of playing host but there are murmurs of concern throughout the room. There’s also whispers of gossip. A patient dying. Armie’s gut sinks. He hasn’t had a patient die on him yet, but he dreads the day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His worries are confirmed when Nick arrives a short while later, immediately going to Kat. She’s suddenly emotional, broken out of her trance, tears streaming down her face as she throws herself into Nick’s arms. Nick pulls her into his lap and rocks her tiny body as she wails against his chest. Emma and Sean shepherd their guests to other rooms till it’s just the five of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sean looks sad but like he knows this is part of the process. Emma is shocked speechless, but keeps her mouth shut about Nick for once. And Armie just stays close, watching one of his best friends fall apart, wishing there was something he could do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They let the silence pass once Kat stops sobbing. None of them know where to start, but thankfully Kat breaks the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened after I left?” Nick sighs heavily and Armie reaches out, takes Kat’s hand. Emma gets closer, runs her fingers through her friend’s fair hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We got her back for a little while. She was intubated and her family made it to the bedside. It wasn’t a long visit but her sister said she moved her eyes, looked at them, and tried to smile.” Kat presses a hand to her mouth, fighting back the next wave of sobs. “She rearrested around 12:35. Her heart just couldn’t do it. I let the family help with just a little bit of post-mortem care, but you never want them to see too much so I helped the tech finish it and took her down to the morgue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat’s shaking in Nick’s arms again, tears streaming down her face. They formed a cuddle pile on the sectional, Sean near Kat’s curled up legs, Armie and Emma bracketing Nick. They all sat with the weight of the moment on them for some time before Kat finally wiped her eyes and managed a tiny smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m feeling In ‘n Out and some cheap beer on the beach.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat’s request was granted, and no one made a peep when Nick came along too. They spend a few hours with the sounds of the ocean and the late afternoon sun beating down on them. Armie stays sober, the designated driver, and he doesn’t look too closely when Nick puts down more than half their total beer supply, staring at the horizon. Armie’s also not entirely sure he didn’t see a flask once or twice, glinting in Nick’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After dark, when they’ve dropped everyone home, Armie and Nick walk back to campus, Nick’s steps slightly less than steady, leaning on Armie to keep him upright at times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they get back to the dorm, Armie has to help Nick get undressed, use the toilet, pointing his cock for him as Nick sighs and pisses out what has to be pure Modelo at this point.  Gets Nick into clean pajama pants, but Nick fights him on the shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want to feel you.” Nick insists so Armie pulls on his own pajama pants, crawls into bed with Nick, is completely unprepared when Nick clings to him with a fierceness he’s never felt before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Older lady, history of DVTs. Came in because she wasn’t feeling well. Kat and I were helping on cardiac step-down and when Kat went to get her latest set of vitals, the woman was talking and then suddenly just stopped. I’m glad I glanced up when I did because Kat just froze. When they say Code Blue, it’s scary how fast the patients really do turn </span>
  <em>
    <span>blue</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I screamed for help, and started chest compressions. We coded her for over half an hour. I think I broke every one of this poor woman’s ribs. But we got her back, for a little bit. But that’s always just a chance. Half the patients that arrest will rearrest within 24 hours. She coded again less than two hours later and I stayed, did everything I could, what little I could do in my limited capacity. Place the Zoll pads. More chest compressions. Fetch supplies for RT.” Nick’s shaking and Armie holds him tight, unsure what he could do when he couldn’t bring Nick any closer into his physical being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it fucked with Kat’s head. The first couple always do, but I really thought we had a good chance with her. I thought I saved her life. I just prolonged her suffering enough for her family to say goodbye.” Armie’s lost for words. He doesn’t know how he’d handle such a death, hasn’t been there, doesn’t know the process he’ll have to find his way through if he continues to work in this field.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie runs his fingers through Nick’s hair and it appears to be the breaking point for the other boy. Nick sobs against his neck and it takes a long time for him to cry himself to sleep in Armie’s embrace. He stays awake long after Nick has settled, dried tears against his neck and Nick’s face where he’s all tucked into Armie. His thoughts wander and when Nick stirs in the night, he can’t help himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How old was she?” Nick shudders in his arms but answers into his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fifty-three.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick is a permanent part of their little group after Thanksgiving. Armie stayed extra close to him for several days after his friend broke down crying. Nick sleeps in his bed more often than not now, and even though it feels weird sharing such a small space with someone almost as tall as he is, it’s not too crowded somehow, because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nick</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They still touch each other on a regular basis and they gradually get better at sucking each other’s cocks. Armie has found so many ways to make Nick squirm and moan, plus he can nearly deep-throat him. Nick can actually hold his jaw open far enough to let Armie fuck into his mouth at least partway. They both enjoy their private moments immensely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The week before Christmas, the night before final exams, Nick’s sucking his cock when he slips a finger into Armie’s ass and after a few gentle strokes, bumps up against something that makes Armie come so hard he passes out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick’s laying between his legs, using his hip as a pillow and treating him to a massive grin when Armie comes to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all pass their final exams, get ridiculously drunk at Kat’s. Emma bitches that Nick got an A, despite her doing the same thing and even scoring two points better than him. She mellows significantly when Nick gives her a very generous portion of his good weed for her and Sean to take home and enjoy over the break.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat bumps up her hip against his in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, I’m seeing someone…” She begins, a blush on her cheeks and Armie immediately smiles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s awesome, Kat. Who’s the lucky guy?” Her smile grows when she hears how genuinely happy Armie sounds for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a second year medical student, so he’s a little older. But his name is Braden, and he’s really nice.” Armie pats her shoulder then pulls her in close for a side hug that turns into a real hug when she rolls into his arms, laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember, you have to let Emma threaten him before you can really bring him around.” Armie teases and Kat giggles. He picks her up, twirls with her tiny frame in his arms once, for old time’s sake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’s about to part ways with Kat, he notices the door to the den is open and he sees a quickly retreating head of silky dark hair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kisses Kat lightly on the head and immediately takes off after Nick. Armie finds him curled up in the far corner of the den’s deep couch, drinking what looks to be pure vodka. He cringes, sits down, gently takes the glass from Nick’s hand. Dark eyes flash to him, full of hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened to your girlfriend?” Nick mumbles, alternating between wanting to look at Armie and wanting to hide. Armie’s stomach sinks and he leans in, putting his head on Nick’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not my girlfriend. Still one of my best friends, but that was just me celebrating with her. She’s got a new boyfriend. She’s like a sister to me.” Nick hums low, doesn’t look at him and Armie sighs. “You’re the one I’m with. You’re the first person I want to see every morning and I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” It’s the first time he’s ever heard Nick sound small, afraid, and he pulls the dark-haired boy into his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really.” He kisses Nick’s forehead and when Nick shudders in his arms, Armie guides the other boy even closer, picks him up, and manages to settle them into the massive basket chair on the other side of the room. He curls up with Nick in his lap and wraps around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a long fucking semester.” Nick sighed, voice tight. Armie just nods, presses his lips to Nick’s head, his nose, his cheeks, his eyelids, lips. Tugs a blanket from the edge of the chair and drapes it over Nick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, but we made it. Together.” Nick finally melts against him and they doze off in the chair, trading the softest kisses, limbs tangled together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They have sex for the first time over Christmas break. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s thankful he remembers to grab his passport from his parents because Nick insists on taking him to Rome for Christmas. They briefly have lunch with Nick’s mother on Christmas Day, but other than that, they’re left to their own devices and spend the cool evenings wandering the streets, admiring the architecture, the history, a couple milleniums full of life laid atop each other. Nick talks almost constantly, telling him what the city is like in Fall, Spring, Summer. Points out all the best spots for snacks or dinner. Places that make him happy, places he still wants to explore, places he loved as a kid. Speaks to the locals in flawless Italian. The first time he hears Nick’s jovial voice calling out in another language, it does things to him he’s not sure he can fully process. All he knows is that his jeans are painfully tight and he’s thankful his coat is long because hearing Nick speak Italian is instant boner material.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finally says so a few days past Christmas and Nick laughs, drags him into an alleyway for a long, heated kiss. Later when Armie is sucking his cock, Nick moans and shouts his pleasure in his native tongue and Armie is embarrassed when he comes on the sheets without Nick even touching his cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On New Years Eve, they decide to leave their virginity behind in the year that’s ending. They each do a little tidying of their pubic hair, especially around their holes, wanting to have an undisturbed view of their dick entering the other. They also make sure to clean themselves out, a process that should be mortifying, but considering that they’re both heading into a career full of literal poop, and that they’re doing this together, they end up giggling by the time they’re done taking turns with their enemas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s lube on the bedside table. A couple different varieties so they could experiment. They’d agree on no condoms. Neither has ever been with another person quite like this and they agree they want to feel it fully, at least for their first times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie agrees to bottom first, stroking his cock as Nick slips warm, slick fingers into him, just one at first, gently exploring, feeling along Armie’s inner walls. It makes him squirm and his cock twitch. Nick smiles and adds another finger. Between scissoring motions to stretch Armie’s tight entrance, he’s making light, exploratory little motions, a concentrated look on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck!” Armie tries to clamp his hand around the base of his penis but the sensation is too much, too fast. Come shoots out of him like a fountain, Armie helpless to the waves of pleasure running through his body. When his vision comes back into focus, Nick is leaning over him, grinning. He also becomes aware that Nick’s now working three fingers slowly and carefully in and out of his ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enjoy that?” Nick’s still smiling like he’s so proud of himself for giving Armie such pleasure. There’s also such a deep affection in his gaze it makes Armie feel warm all over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Immensely.” Armie sighs out, relaxed, even with his cock never fading past half-hard as Nick continues to finger and stretch him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you’re ready?” Nick asks carefully and Armie immediately nods. Nick’s been so careful with him ever since the first time they slept together and Armie’s not sure he’d trust anyone but Nick with his first time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m really excited to feel you like this.” Armie confesses and Nick’s smile grows even more tender as he leans in, kisses Armie so sweetly, so unlike their frantic, passionate first kiss. It almost makes the moment even hotter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Nick whispers against his lips as he shifts, settles between Armie’s legs. Watching Nick grab the tube of lube, stroking the slick liquid over his thick, red-pink cock, Armie’s mouth is positively watering watching Nick’s beautiful golden fingers stroking as he works. Then in a blink, Nick’s there, stuffing a pillow under Armie’s hips, carefully guiding his legs up around his hips, gently stroking along his low back and ass as he goes. The wet head of Nick’s penis is soon at his entrance, and with Nick just brushing his cock over it, barely teasing, Armie already feels himself trying to open, trying to welcome Nick inside of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, Armie…” Nick rolls his head back on his shoulders, moans when just the tip slides in the tight pucker of Armie’s hole. “You’re absolutely sure?” He whispers and Armie reaches up, gently grabs hold of Nick’s hips, guides him forward as Nick whispers his name, his cock sliding into Armie’s well slicked hole.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Physically, it feels weird. He hasn’t had enough time to process anything good or bad, but it’s definitely a new feeling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All his focus is drawn to the fact that a part of Nick’s body is </span>
  <em>
    <span>inside</span>
  </em>
  <span> of him. They’re joined as intimately as two humans can be physically, and Nick’s hands are desperately grasping at the skin of Armie’s thighs. Armie swears he can feel Nick’s pulse, beating just out of time with his own racing heart, feels deep inside where the head of Nick’s cock is buried, a sensation of a few drops of warmth, Nick’s precum leaking out and marking him from the very beginning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before and it’s incredible. He’s never felt this connected to another human being and the fact that it’s Nick that gives him this feeling of completion. He feels so full, feels every little micro movement and adjustment Nick makes. Hisses softly when Nick shifts his knees, the angle of Armie’s legs over his arms, his hips. It’s like he can feel Nick all throughout his body, never mind the tiny bit of friction when Nick pulls out slightly, then pushes back in. It’s incredible and he moans aloud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie, Armie, <em>fottere, fottere, mio Dio, tio amo tanto</em>.” Nick’s panting desperately. Armie got his orgasm from Nick fingering his prostate, but more than likely, if the sensations are overwhelming for Armie, he can only imagine what it’s like for Nick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A strong bolt of desire to see Nick fall apart shoots through him and he can’t help the way his muscles contract around Nick’s cock, dragging his cock in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Mi dispiace, ho intenzione di venire; mi dispiace,</em> I can’t.” Nick’s making these little choked noises so Armie grabs hold of Nick’s hips, surprisingly fuller than his own despite Nick’s narrow stature, holds on while he fucks back down towards Nick’s cock and that’s apparently all it takes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Non vedo l'ora, sto per venire, oh amore mio, amore mio!</em>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie can’t hold in a moan of his own, feeling Nick fall apart above him, feel the hot spread of his seed somewhere so deep it feels like there’s a part of Nick that will stay with him forever now. “Oh my God, Armie, I’m sorry...I didn’t, oh…” Nick’s hips continue to fuck into his in short little jerks. Armie can feel Nick’s cock twitching inside him every time his dick releases another short spurt of semen. “I’m so sorry I came so fast. <em>Sono così imbarazzato</em>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s bordering on painfully hard when Nick leans over him. His hand is shaking when it comes to Armie’s cock and Armie loses himself in the easy strokes of Nick’s hand, watching Nick’s face, sex-drowsy and flushed a deep pink, his eyes so dark but Armie’s sure his pupils are blown wide. His beautiful best friend who’s still going soft in him, and the fact that they’re still joined pushes him over the edge as he groans and sprays come across his belly and Nick’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick takes the moment to try to bury his face in Armie’s armpit, hiding from the blonde’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Niki? Are you okay? Was that too much for you? I don’t have to take my turn tonight.” Armie said softly, hoping his friend’s gorgeous face would appear from whatever part of Armie’s body he’s been trying to hide in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine. And I really want you to fuck me. But, that was...it was a lot. I’m so sorry I came so fast, I wanted you to--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey.” Armie cuts him off, grateful for how good Nick had made the experience for him. “It’s a new feeling. You probably shot off pretty quick the first time you jerked off too.” Nick’s face emerges from his armpit and Armie nods his head forward to be able to meet Nick in a soft kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I just wanted to make you come first.” Nick’s face has the tiniest smirk on it and Armie nudges their heads together again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have plenty of chances for that.” Armie says softly, runs his hands through Nick’s thick, dark hair. Nick seems content to simply enjoy the touch before he carefully shifts, lets his penis slide out of Armie and when it does, Armie is left feeling empty and, of all things, cold. He never gets cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They have two massive king beds in their luxurious suite, but they’re so used to sharing one of their twin beds, it’s nothing to roll out of the wet spot and wrap each other up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dinner's coming up in a couple hours, then we’ll go to the Piazza and dance, if you’re up for that?” Armie stiffens at the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>dance</span>
  </em>
  <span> but Niki had sounded so interested, he can’t tell him no. “We really don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Armie shakes his head, rolls onto his side so Nick can curl up in his arms the way they did that first night, Nick’s head tucked just beneath Armie’s chin, the steady little puffs of hot air that he exhales against his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They have time leading up to dinner, it’s only midway through the afternoon, plenty of time for a little cuddling, probably a quick nap, then everything Nick has planned for them. This trip, shockingly, he hasn’t thought about his parents, his rotten little brother. Hasn’t worried about next semester’s clinical rotation, wasn’t going to stress money. He’d put aside enough from the ridiculous deposits his parents sent to cover his ass at least until he graduated. He, of course, had thought of their other friends and worked with Nick to pick out something practical yet beautiful to bring home to each of them. An additional gift, something to allow them to be here vicariously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie briefly feels awful for thinking it, but he’s almost glad his friends aren’t here. It’s just him and Nick and it’s allowed them to get even closer and Armie didn’t think such a thing was possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, but it’s something you enjoy, and seeing the people I love happy makes me happy.” Armie only realizes what he just said when Nick lets out a low gasp. “I know that probably wasn’t the best time to say it, but it’s true Niki, I love you.” His heart is thudding in his ears, his stomach twisting, throat tightening and Nick is so very still in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Ti amo. Ti amo tanto, amore mio</em>.” Nick murmurs against his skin before sliding up just slightly to meet Armie’s eyes. Armie’s nerves fade when he sees how open Nick’s big brown eyes are and the warmth in his expression. It makes something deep inside him sing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Amo’ or ‘Amore,’ like...amorous? Lovely? Love.” Armie puzzles through and Nick’s grin is dazzling. The kiss he gives Armie takes his breath away and lets him know he’s done something right. And he remembers now, Nick shouting those words while they were having sex. When their lips separate after several minutes of kissing, Nick nudges their noses together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Ti amo tanto. Ti amo, ti amo.</em>” He whispers into Armie’s lips before giving him the translation, “I love you so much. I love you, I love you.” Armie lets out a deeply overjoyed and contented hum and Nick suddenly has a look of mischief on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>La danza può aspettare. Voglio il tuo grande cazzo dentro di me in questo momento.</em>” Nick rolls Armie onto his back, quickly straddling his hips, half hard and eager to go again. A tiny part of Armie was looking forward to a nap, but whatever Nick has planned is probably way better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Nick stretched, lightly, showing off the definition of his lean muscles beneath the skin. Armie wanted to taste every inch of his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Allungherò il mio piccolo stronzo stretto. Quindi cavalcherò il tuo enorme cazzo finché non saremo entrambi coperti di sperma.</em>” Armie groaned as Nick slid down more to sit on his hips, bending to kiss Armie’s chest, then up to his neck, sucking a lingering mark under his collar line. When Nick raised his head, Armie took the opportunity to bite his throat lightly, listening to the other man’s sigh and heavy moan that followed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to tell me what you’re saying?” Armie asked, stroking his best friend’s lean legs where they’re bracketed on either side of his body. Nick is most definitely not a small man, but Armie still feels huge around him sometimes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Nick says lightly and Armie growls, his hands grabbing Nick’s ass, rolling them over so he can be over Nick while he does this. He has to have some semblance of control over the situation. After everything that happened with Kat, he can’t stand the idea of hurting his partner with his monster cock. “Hey, I’m willing to do the work if…” Armie shakes his head, leans down, kisses Nick but reaches over to grab the lube.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I can handle putting a few fingers inside that tight little hole of your’s.” Nick shivers, rolls his head on the pillow to look at him better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like it, but where’s the dirty talk coming from?” Armie blushes immediately. It had felt so natural, he didn’t know how to take it back now but Nick’s hand comes to his face, cups it gently like he did the first time they met. Armie meets his eyes, letting him know he had just been following Nick’s example.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know Italian, but I’m going to guess you said something raunchy, knowing you.” Nick’s grin is bordering on feral. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps.” He teases and Armie leans down, runs his hands up Nick’s sides, making his friend laugh and squirm at the same time, biting into his right pec. He moves to sucking on one of Nick’s nipples while his hands manage to fumble the lube open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie had fingered himself once or twice before when the mood struck, but this will be his first time putting his fingers inside someone else. While Nick had never gone this far with anyone else, Armie knew he had more experience with sex, including sometimes fingering a partner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Nick says softly, reaching down, touching Armie’s cheek. Armie lets go of Nick’s nipple and meets his friend’s eyes, steady and warm as ever. “If you’re not ready, I’m not forcing you. We do this when you’re ready, Armie.” Armie smiles and rests his head on Nick’s chest, listening to the steady lub-dub of his heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m ready. I want this and I want you, more than anything. I just don’t want to hurt you.” Armie confesses and Nick’s fingers stroke through his hair, scratch along his scalp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie, I don’t care how big you may be; you’re literally the gentlest person I’ve ever met. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> you won’t hurt me.” Armie can’t contain a smile at Nick’s trust in him and leans up, kissing him long and slow before returning to his intended task, more confident than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick helps him out by sliding a pillow under his hips to give Armie better access to his hole. When Nick grabs the backs of his thighs and holds himself open with a content smile, Armie gives his more than half-hard cock a firm squeeze to settle it down. For all Nick’s lankiness and lean muscles, he’s got a surprisingly full hip and round, firm ass that Armie rarely misses the opportunity to spank, caress, or even just cup and squeeze it in his hands when they grind together. And between those cheeks, a pretty red-pink hole is presented to him, twitching slightly with anticipation of what’s to come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie lightly runs his finger over it, feeling the tension in the tight little ring of muscle, watching Nick squirm. He does this a few more times before the urge strikes to try something new. Nick is fairly open sexually so Armie trusts him not to think he’s being gross or too sudden, taking a deep breath and dragging his tongue along Nick’s tight little hole and up to under his balls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit.” Nick whispers and Armie feels his whole body shiver.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good holy shit, or bad holy shit?” Armie asks, wanting to make sure before he does it again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very, very good holy shit.” Nick murmurs and Armie gets back to work, dragging his tongue from Nick’s tight little hole up to his taint, even teasing his balls occasionally before refocusing his attention on Nick’s hole, already feeling it begin to loosen and stretch just a little from the work of his tongue. Nick is pure encouragement, sighing, moaning, pushing his hips towards Armie’s face. When Armie is finally able to slip his tongue into Nick’s hole, tasting the last hints of soap overlaid with something that’s entirely primal and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nick</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Nick shouts and squirms, making Armie grin against his skin before he draws his head back. Nick is staring at him, hazy dark eyes full of desire and what Armie thinks might definitely be love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remind me to do that more often.” Armie says and Nick, Nick of all fucking people, </span>
  <em>
    <span>blushes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. More confident than before, Armie slicks one finger in the lube before bringing it to Nick’s wet entrance. He strokes his finger over it a couple times and then pushes in, his finger sliding in with shocking ease. It’s tight, unbelievably hot, and Armie swears he can feel every one of the tiniest twitches and shudders that go through Nick’s body. If this is what Nick feels like just around his fingers, he swallows hard imagining what it will be like around his cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick sighs softly and lets out a low moan when Armie pumps his finger until it slides back and forth with ease. A second finger is introduced, more lube, and Nick’s breathing gets heavier as Armie begins not just pumping his fingers but scissoring them lightly, stretching Nick’s hole open. Armie adds a little bit of lube inside his hole directly, making Nick jump, then settle when he feels Armie spreading it thoroughly inside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s cock is absolutely aching between his legs but he knows he has to stretch Nick more before he can sink into that tight heat. He withdraws his fingers partway, searching for the spot inside him that had made Armie come so hard. When Armie does locate his prostate, Nick shouts and with a few more bumps and nudges against the little organ, his dark-haired friend grunts and stiffens, his cock pulsing, coming untouched between his legs, splattering come across his belly, chest, thighs. It’s one of the hottest things Armie’s ever seen and he can feel his balls drawing up, cock pulsing. He tries to fight it off, but as he slips a third finger inside Nick to stretch his friend even more, the way Nick’s body quakes through his orgasm is just too much for Armie. He grunts and comes on the sheet between his knees, the waves of his orgasm not dulled at all by the fact that he isn’t touching himself. And he takes comfort that this will let him fuck Nick for longer. Armie wants to make it so good for Nick, everything his dear friend wants and deserves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick is letting out low moans, his cock still half-hard and twitching with interest. A part of Armie wants to suck him, to lick the sticky semen off his skin before taking Nick in his mouth, but he knows that’s a bit ambitious for their first time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When three fingers are sliding in and out easily, even with Armie spreading them, he adds his pinkie and Nick winces. Armie immediately freezes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Nick’s eyes are closed and his mouth is tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s just a lot. Gimme a minute.” Nick takes several deep breaths, pursing his lips and steadying himself, relaxing his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, if this is too much, we don’t have to do--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Jesus. I want this, it’s just gonna take some work.” Nick’s eyes open and Armie can see the determination and the affection in them. “I want you to fuck me, Armie. I want it so fucking bad.” He looks almost torn between hope and crying a little and Armie immediately leans in to kiss him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be inside you too. I want to make you feel so good Niki, feel every part of you. But more than anything, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> hurt you.” Armie confesses against his friend’s mouth and he feels Nick sigh before their eyes meet and Nick lays a hand on his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s you. I know you won’t hurt me.” Nick’s voice is so full of trust, Armie finds himself nodding, pressing another long kiss to Nick’s soft lips before returning to his previous work. During their brief conversation, Nick’s body has adjusted to having all four of Armie’s fingers inside him so Armie adds more lube and gets to work stretching Nick’s now red hole, seeing his insides all soft and pink when his fingers spread just right. It hits somewhere so deep he’s not sure he can process it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Nick is sighing and his body is relaxed, Armie carefully adds more lube into Nick’s hole then withdraws his fingers. It’s time. His erection is definitely back and 110% interested in the proceedings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to stay like that?” Armie asks and Nick immediately nods, giving him a soft smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to see you.” Nick’s voice is so soft and Armie returns his little smile, kissing his forehead before slicking his cock. It looks even bigger than usual in his hand, and knowing where it’s going has him both twitching in arousal and shivering with nerves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They take a couple seconds to adjust a little, get their positions just right with each other’s bodies. Armie swipes the wet head of his erection over Nick’s well-stretched hole and Nick makes the most lovely gasping noise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready?” Armie asks, confirming this is really what Nick wants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready. Ti amo.” Nick lays a hand over his heart and Armie ducks his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ti amo.” He says it the best he can but judging by Nick’s expression, it means everything that he even tried. And then, he begins to push in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie can’t breathe. Nick’s body is slick, so very slick, preventing any actual friction but he’s unbelievably hot, like Armie’s sliding his dick into a warming oven. And tight. Every time Armie slides in a little more, Nick’s passage flutters around him, twitching with need to both push him out and suck him in deeper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’s about halfway in, he casts a glance at Nick’s face. He’s still got his eyes open but they’re fluttering closed every now and again as Nick breathes through accepting Armie’s cock into his body. Armie knows his voice will be worthless at this point, so he continues to press in, watching carefully for any sign of pain in Nick’s features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally bottoms out, Nick’s firm buttocks and lean thighs pressed to his hips, Armie has to fight back tears. He never thought anyone would tolerate actually having his cock in them but here was Nick, so willing. Armie bent forward, pressed his lips to Nick’s forehead, his cheeks, finally Nick’s lips as they caught their breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Merda! Sei enorme. Penso che il tuo cazzo sia nei miei polmoni.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Nick mumbles, groaning out low. Armie focuses on holding still, not moving too suddenly or before Nick is ready. It’s so fucking hard though. Nick’s body is quivering and pulsing around him, his inner muscles practically trying to milk Armie’s orgasm from his dick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie does his best to hold still but before long his leg cramps and his hips shift as he tries to get his leg to release and Nick yelps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, shit, shit.” Armie wants to pull back but Nick grabs for his hips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, please. This has gone so well so far. I want you so damn bad, Armie.” Nick looks so determined, so Armie stays put, makes sure his hips are flush like they were against Nick’s body and arranges his legs so they hopefully won’t cramp this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick takes several deep breaths before reaching up, wrapping his arms around Armie’s shoulders and drawing him down for a long hug. Armie allows his friend to move him however he wants, still doing his best to fight every urge his hips have to rut into Nick’s tight, tight heat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Slow, just little moves, okay?” Nick says after a long minute and Armie nods, first just rocking his hips a little, Nick sighing softly against the skin of his neck. It feels incredible and Armie wonders if he’ll be able to even last as long as Nick did when the brunette came inside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick’s cock has been flagging around half-hard for some time now but Armie can feel it gradually pressing more insistently between their abs, sticky where the head smears pre-cum on his skin. Armie shifts slightly, slowly thrusts his hips the smallest bit and Nick shivers in his arms, groans into his ear, but Armie can feel his cock jumping against their bellies and has an idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me?” Armie asks and Nick nods immediately. Armie takes a deep breath and slowly starts to pull out, stopping a little more than halfway before he slowly starts to rut again, making small adjustments until Nick suddenly shouts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie! Fuck yes!” Armie is washed with a sense of relief by the praise and continues how he is now, half-fucking into Nick, teasing and grazing his prostate, loving the way Nick’s body shows it’s pleasure, clamping and loosening on Armie’s cock. Armie reaches a trembling hand between their legs, strokes Nick’s swollen, wet cock, smearing his pre-cum along his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t take long after that. It takes Armie a couple tries to time it right, but when he sweeps his thumb over the exposed head of Nick’s weeping cock at the same time as he nudges Nick’s prostate, Nick’s body goes stiff and his hole clenches down hard on Armie’s dick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, Armie! Armie, Armie, Armie.” Nick chants his name as he comes in thick pulses all over their bellies. The sensation is too much for Armie and before he can help himself, he fucks in a little deeper and lets go, his orgasm crashing over him as he fills Nick’s most intimate passage with what feels like an obscene amount of come as it spreads hot around the head of his still pulsing cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie can feel his body trembling from the force of trying to hold himself up and not collapse on Nick, but Nick just reaches up, drags Armie closer again, Armie shifting his hips so his still softening dick doesn’t get bent half-way into Nick’s ass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was amazing. God, I love you so much.” Nick kissed his cheek, his temple, shaking hands combing Armie’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Armie whispers, the gravity of everything they’d done that afternoon and evening finally hitting him. “Wow.” Nick chuckles and makes no move to release him. Armie wants to roll them on their sides so he can pull out and wrap Nick up in the whole body cuddles he wants so often. “I gotta pull out.” Armie finally says, feeling just the movement of Nick’s breathing slowly pushing his softening cock out of his friend’s body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay.” Nick says like it’s the worst thing ever, but he’s smiling and Armie chuckles, holding Nick’s hips, his grip strong but thumbs gentle where they work over his hip bones. He’s slow and careful as he pulls out, watching Nick’s red, puffy hole release his wet, still semi-hard dick. It’s only as he watches Nick’s hole stretch to accomodate the fat head of his cock that his stomach sinks and he feels a cold wave of regret wash over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Streaked along his shaft, staining his come, and clinging to the head of his cock are thin streaks of blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a long time for Nick to gently coax Armie out of hiding in the bathroom. Armie has been curled up in front of the toilet for a couple hours now. He knows midnight is approaching and they should be celebrating, but all he can feel is an undeniable wave of self loathing. The knowledge that he hurt Nick while taking his virginity is enough to haunt him for the rest of his life and have him ready to heave at any moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, the doorknob wiggles and the lock turns, Nick peeping into the room, his eyes soft, naked except for his boxers as he sat slowly next to Armie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry.” Armie knows it’s nowhere near adequate but Nick just shakes his head, leans into Armie, wraps him in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize. It was barely any blood and any bleeding has already stopped. I feel fine Armie.” Nick coos to him, shifting to kiss his hair, pulling Armie tight to his chest. “<em>Ti amo</em>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Ti amo</em> Niki. So, so much.” Armie whispers against his skin and after they spend several minutes just sitting with the comfort of the other’s very presence. Nick kisses his head after several long minutes, runs his hands through Armie’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, it’s dinner time and then we’ll see the fireworks.” They get cleaned up quickly and quietly, Armie’s protests hushed when Nick so very gently cleans the dried mix of semen and lube from his cock. Now that he feels his urethra isn’t crusted over, they share the toilet, emptying their bladders before Nick guides him back to the main room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick already laid out clothes for the both of them, and when they’re dressed in sufficient layers, Nick quietly sets out their room service dinner and pops open what looks like a very fancy Prosecco, pouring off two flutes before reaching for Armie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie takes his hand and they make their way to the balcony. They don’t rely on the media. Armie’s watch has a fairly accurate time on it, the clicks on his wrists becoming synchronized with the shouts across the city, joyous and anticipatory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tre</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Due</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Uno</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Buon anno! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cheers ring out through the city as fireworks burst across the sky. Nick wraps his arm around Armie’s waist and clinks their glasses together. They each take a long sip, but Armie drains his glass, Nick doing the same when he sees Armie’s empty flutes. After that, they’re set on the table and Nick’s arms move up to his neck, pulling him into a long kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t go back inside until long after the fireworks end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie doesn’t have much time to linger on the events of New Years once they’re back in the states. It’s non-stop prep for the next semester, the mad dash on sign up day. Armie breathes a sigh of relief when Nick looks up from their adjoining computers and gives a thumbs up and a grin. They’ll be together for clinical, laboratory, and lecture.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat’s in their lecture and lab, but had gone for a different clinical site, gradually looking towards becoming a nurse midwife now that her brother had announced they were going to be expecting their first child, Kat’s first nephew in the summer. Kat quickly became her sister-in-law’s rock and found she loved everything about women’s health.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma and Sean weren’t in any of their classes, but all the lectures were held at the same time, and they had the same clinical day, just a different site. Plenty of time for the five of them to still get together and study, which quickly becomes the only activity any of them seem to have free time for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lecture gets more complicated, delving deeper into pharmacology, pathophysiology, and begins to explore labs and what their values mean. Even brilliant Emma breaks down crying just two weeks into the semester.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick is managing to keep his head above water better than most of them, and he takes a long shot chance, throws his name in the hat for Nursing Student Association Vice President. Nick confesses to Armie he doesn’t think he’ll really get the spot, but passionately shares his ideas with anyone in the program he can find, their year or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie also realizes precisely why some of the others call Nick, Niki Wonder. His assessment skills are strong, but he doesn’t hesitate to reach out when he needs it. He’s the picture of professional warmth and thinks quickly on his feet. Armie also gets to see some of Nick’s technical skills in action, most notably, that he’s better at getting an IV in even the most difficult of patients than nurses who have been in practice since before they were born. There seems to be a very grudging admiration of such a skill. Armie feels like he can never quite keep up but Nick always hushes him when he voices these concerns on the way home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re brilliant in your own way, Armie. You notice some of the little things I don’t, and your gut instincts are already better than mine. You have this just </span>
  <em>
    <span>sense</span>
  </em>
  <span> when something’s not right. You’re going to be amazing.” Nick would reassure him, holding his hand and squeezing firmly whenever he sensed Armie doubting himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They would shower together, wash away the day, and Nick would kiss him long and slow, and after the first week or two, they’d begun rubbing their cocks on each other again, clinging desperately, moaning into the other’s mouth, nails and teeth claiming as they marked each other with their seed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Valentine’s Day, Armie surprises Nick with a night out to his favorite little hole-in-the-wall Italian place. Nick lights up whenever they order from there, tells Armie the food reminds him exactly of all the comfort foods of his childhood. It’s not a fancy place, but Nick glows the whole night. They split two bottles of red wine over dinner, Nick getting gently and gradually more affectionate as the evening goes on, finally migrating to Armie’s side of their little booth to cuddle into his side as they share a piece of tiramisu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before they leave, the chef wanders through the room and immediately lights up when he sees Nick, marching over as Nick smiles, stands up, the men greeting each other with bursts of joyous Italian, kissing cheeks before the older man pulls Nick into a fierce hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>E chi è questo</em>?” The man inquires as he nods towards Armie and Nick blushes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Mio carissimo amico. E il mio ragazzo.</em>” The man immediately smiles, reaches out, grasps Armie’s hand in what might be the friendliest, but most painful handshake he’s ever had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you are a very lucky boy.” The chef tells him with a thick accent and big smile before his face goes deadly serious. “You hurt Niccolò, I make you into meatballs.” The man points to the remaining crumbs of the meatballs from their pasta and Armie swallows hard as Nick groans and lightly swats the man on the arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Papà</em>!” Nick exclaims. “<em>Armie non mi farebbe mai del male.</em>” The old chef glances back and forth between them before firing off more sentences in rapid fire Italian, Nick responding with just as much spunk and soon they’re both grinning. Nick’s pulled into a giant hug and then released. Armie asks to pay the bill and is waved away. Nick gives the chef a firm look and Armie quietly leaves the cost of the meal, wine, and a large tip on their table while Nick and the chef bicker for a few moments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said papa; is he your dad?” Nick has never said much about his family. Armie recalls meeting Nick’s mother at Christmas, warm and beautifully mannered, a lovely host, but Nick and her had regarded each other with a sort of distant respect rather than genuine affection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick snorts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. He is actually a great uncle of one of my older brother’s good friends, but there’s no blood relation. He’s just known me most of my life and he gets a little protective.” Nick doesn’t elaborate from there, just tucks himself into Armie’s side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their walk back to the dorm features a quick stop in the CVS just off campus, loading up on discount chocolates and candies as the evening draws to a close. When they get back to their dorm, Armie has another bottle of wine ready, and they eat chocolate, drink wine, and trade kisses in between rounds of Mario Kart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the wine is gone, Nick sets their controllers aside, swings his leg over Armie’s lap and leans in, kissing him deeply. Armie immediately kisses back, and sooner than he realizes, they’re naked from the waist up, Nick’s neck decorated with little bite marks from Armie’s over-eager mouth, craving the taste of Nick’s skin, Armie’s hair standing on end from the desperate way Nick’s pulling and tugging it, stroking and scratching along his scalp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Nick’s hands reach the crotch of Armie’s jeans, Armie can’t help himself and he freezes. Nick immediately removes his hands, strokes them over Armie’s well defined hips instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to try something. Please?” Nick whispers. He looks so genuinely desperate for them to have a sexual experience rather than humping each other in the shower, and Armie can’t say no to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie quickly undoes his own pants and Nick does the same, the two of them kicking jeans and boxers and socks into a pile on the floor. Nick’s already so hard and Armie can’t help himself, leaning down and sucking his dick into his mouth, relief, comfort coursing through him as the familiar taste of Nick’s pre-cum blooms across his tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie doesn’t realize how much he’s missed this until Nick’s hips are bucking up off the bed, fucking his cock into Armie’s mouth before Nick cries out and a now-familiar saltiness fills his mouth. He swallows every drop, licking Nick clean until the dark haired boy shivers with oversensitivity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he pulls off Nick's cock, there are hands at his shoulders, and Armie’s quick to meet Nick’s demands of a long hug and several more kisses, these much more gentle than the last round, but no less passionate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you trust me?” Nick whispers against his lips and Armie immediately nods. Nick grins, reaches over to his bedside table and brings out a bottle of lube Armie hasn’t seen since Rome. Nick must feel him tense, because there’s a soft kiss being pressed to his face. “Relax, I promise it’s going to be okay. You’re not going inside me, but you are going to fuck me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s curious how that will work but he’s going to trust Nick with this. Nick instructs him to lay on his side, big cock swollen and pointing out hard and dripping with interest. Nick takes a moment to slather what may be an almost ridiculous amount of lube all across the surface of Armie’s cock. Then he’s just as heavily slicking his inner thighs, his taint, the curves of his buttocks leading down between his legs before he rolls over, backs up to Armie. Presses the head of Armie’s dick between his thighs, holding it tight and warm against his taint. Nick then crosses his ankles and settles into Armie’s embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead, fuck my thighs. It’s gonna feel good, promise.” Armie hesitates for a moment before pushing forward and oh, it does feel amazing. Nick moans, loving the drag of Armie’s cock against the underside of his balls and his sensitive inner thighs. There’s nothing painful about this, no way Armie can hurt him or make him bleed with his stupid oversized cock and once he finds the best movement and rhythm, he finds himself letting go, fucking desperately between Nick’s thighs, one hand sliding over Nick’s hip to grasp his erection, now full and leaking in Armie’s hand again. He strokes it the way Nick likes, firm but not too hard, thorough and lingering as he chases his own orgasm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck, Armie!” Nick shouts, coming hard over Armie’s hand and the sticky spill of Nick’s semen is enough to push Armie over the edge, coating his thighs, his taint, his balls, all with his own come. “Fuck, I love you so much.” Nick sighs out and Armie pulls him tight, squeezes Nick’s body as close as he can get it and judging from the contented sigh he receives, Armie guesses he doesn’t mind the clinging one bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Niki. So very, very much.” Armie whispers into the back of Nick’s neck and they drift off together, Armie pulling a mostly clean blanket across their naked bodies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just before Spring Break, the election results are announced and to almost no one’s surprise but Nick himself, Nick is next year’s Vice President. Armie whoops aloud when they read the announcement on BlackBoard and scoops Nick up, letting him cling to him, arms and legs wrapped tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They have one hell of a party at Kat’s that night and midway through, Armie pulls him close, kisses him long and easy. They’re so wrapped up in each other, they miss the cheers and wolf whistles, finally breaking apart when Kat whistles loudest, her fine features lit up with genuine joy from where she’s perched on the couch on Braden’s lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all do well on the last exam before break and the Saturday before they head to the Grand Canyon, they celebrate with most of their year at a party on the beach. Everyone is tipsy and overjoyed and an amateur photographer catches the moment Nick leaps out of a guard tower and crashes into Armie in a fierce embrace, dry warm skin to cool wet skin as Armie steadies himself with the waves crashing over his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The passionate kiss they share, Nick held off the ground by Armie’s strong clutch makes its way into the local newspaper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They make their way to the Grand Canyon by way of Las Vegas, Hoover Dam, and it’s always interesting at night, pretending the three tents, Kat with Braden, Armie with Nick, and Sean and Emma, aren’t making any noise. Armie and Nick have gotten the best at being quiet and are discreet to the point where Braden actually speaks up, teases them at breakfast before they go hiking, that they’re being very chaste for a couple that ended up on the front page with their steamy ocean kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night, Armie sucks Nick’s cock with an unrelenting hunger that makes Nick lose control, shaking and thrashing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Armie</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Nick can’t contain his shout and it’s a prize for Armie just as much as the flood of salty come from Nick’s penis is. Knowing they’re already busted for the night, Armie isn’t as quiet as he usually is fighting back grunts and finally a low moan when he comes on Nick’s tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They get a ribbing at breakfast again when they step out of their tent with a flourish and a bow, but no one bugs them about their sex life again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trip provides a much needed peace and escape from the craziness of their life in LA. They all sleep well, eat well, and get plenty of sunshine and exercise hiking and exploring. And if Nick and Armie sometimes wandered away from the group, finding a private spot to make out or quickly rub each other’s dicks to a dirty, satisfying orgasm, no one seemed bothered by it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they arrive back in Los Angeles, there’s a letter in the mailbox from Armie’s father. It’s thick and Armie swallows hard as he carries the mail and his bag up to their room. He shares a cool shower with Nick, washing the desert and dust off their skin with lingering caresses, trading soft kisses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they’re done and dressed, Armie sits at his desk, sighs heavily. Finally finds the confidence to open the letter when Nick comes over to hug him from behind, putting his cheek on Armie’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t want me to read it, I’ll look away, but I’m here for you no matter what.” Armie leans lightly into Nick’s hold, cranes his neck so he can kiss shower-damp fluffy dark hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The letter contains pretty much what Armie expected, several pages of scathing criticism from his entire family, gathered and relayed by his father, ending with ultimatum that he come home immediately or be disowned. A copy of the local paper showing his and Nick’s beach kiss is enclosed and that’s all it takes for Armie to make his decision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He puts the letter in the shredder and pins the newspaper clipping to the tiny bulletin board above his desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie doesn’t break down till later that night, but Nick’s there as promised and Armie cries into the soft fur of his chest hair for a long time before finally drifting off, secure and loved in his dearest friend’s embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick has an early elective the following day and slides out of bed with a soft kiss to Armie’s forehead and a sleepy rub of their noses against each other.  Armie wakes up a couple hours later, long after Nick has gone and finds the other boy’s laptop open on the edge of the bed. When he wiggles a finger across the track pad, it lights up, Armie easily putting in Nick’s password. They’ve known each other’s passwords since all of about two weeks into their program.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The open webpage is an order confirmation and when Armie reads it, he bursts out laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A box of confetti penises is going to arrive at his father’s office once a month for the next six months, and Armie can’t stop grinning the whole rest of his day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They survive their first year of nursing school and celebrate accordingly, getting absolutely shit-faced at Kat’s house. Kat’s going to be taking doula training classes over the summer, Braden is lining up places he wants to consider for his residency. Emma and Sean are returning to San Francisco for the summer, so they sublease the apartment to Armie and Nick, who love having a full kitchen, even if it is a little on the smaller side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie lands a job as a tech at the same ER Nick works at, and by the end of the summer, his brain is spinning with all the information that comes with actually being at the bedside. It’s still an experience he wouldn’t trade for anything. They schedule their shifts so Armie’s last and Nick’s first overlap, taking care of the other on the days when just one worked, then having their Wednesdays and Thursdays free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They go to New York twice over the summer, once for Pride, which is an experience unlike anything Armie’s ever had before. Two of the organizers for California pride invited them aboard the float and they drank and tossed confetti and flowers and Nick got talked into taking off his shirt and dancing with some of the others. Armie watches with a smile, touched when Nick carefully stops each new friend that gets too handsy, says he loves to dance, but that kind of touching is reserved for his boyfriend, and shoots Armie a look. Apparently being 6’5” is finally working in his favor because anyone Nick has trouble with immediately backs off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stagger through the streets, tipsy, singing, dancing, partying and Armie’s never had so much fun in his life. Nick takes them to a club, grinning and introducing Armie to a handful of old friends, quietly buying the table a couple of quality bottles while friends palm his ass, Armie only realizing what’s actually going on when he realizes Nick’s shorts definitely have more in the pockets than when they first came in. Nick catches his eye, grins and nods to the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a coarse white powder inside a capsule he produces from his back pocket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Nick says softly. “I just think it might make dancing here easier.” Armie hesitates.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Molly, or ecstacy. It gives you a feeling of euphoria for a few hours.” Nick explains and when he says it that way, Armie figures, well, why not?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next several hours are a little blurry but the pounding beats of the club, each brush of Nick’s skin, his lips against Armie’s own leave him tingling and his body singing in ways he never knew. It’s a high unlike anything he’s had in his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the club closes, Armie is still flying within his body and they make their way back to the hotel, kissing, nibbling, occasionally ducking into shadows to palm each other’s cocks. Every stroke feels like it’s pulling him miles closer to orgasm. When their drinks catch up with them a few blocks from the hotel and Armie knows they can’t wait until the hotel to piss, Nick finds them an alley close enough to the main street but shadowy enough that if they’re discreet, no one will mind. Taking his cock out and pissing feels like an orgasm, every touch of his penis tingling, buzzing along his skin, and when his bladder is empty, it barely takes two strokes before he shoots his load on the brick wall beside them. Nick’s tiny gasp indicates he has the same experience, painting the wall with thick bursts of his seed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hump and grind and suck and kiss for a couple hours back at the hotel before crashing into bed, curled up safe and sound, Nick’s gentle presence lulling him to sleep to allow the worst of the drug’s crash to pass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second time they’re in New York is to be present at the National Student Nurses Association summer conference. It’s one day but Armie and Nick come into town on the red eye so they can stay a couple days after. Armie elects not to attend the conference, not particularly fond of Nick’s position or the time commitment that comes with it, but wanting to support his boyfriend. Nick seems to understand, kissing Armie long and lingering in the morning with a whispered “I’ll miss you,” and “we’ll have lots of time for us tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Second year starts much more smoothly than the first. It’s still a crazy busy amount of work, especially with Armie and Nick juggling their jobs on top of classes. Nick is contracted now, so he’s committed to full time hours, while Armie can flex down to part time. Armie spends every minute he’s not studying or with his other friends with Nick, at his side through the boy’s challenges with school, NSA, and work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a long, brutal semester with several student breakdowns over coursework, impossible test questions, patient ethical dilemmas, and several more students experience their first patient death. Armie’s first had been over the summer, an middle-aged stroke patient that had already herniated by the time they arrived at the hospital. Thankfully Nick had been on shift with him that night and he spent his break shaking apart in Nick’s steady hold. By the end of the summer, they both seemed almost used to death. They all drink too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Christmas this year is in Venice. They don’t hear from Nick’s mom, but enjoy two weeks in the beautiful city, admiring its beauty and the twinkling lights that give the place a peaceful soft glow. On New Years, they turn in early. Nick sets an alarm for 11:50pm and they wake up, go to the balcony to celebrate with the city again while trading kisses and splitting a bottle of Prosecco. Armie's not sure he wants to know the price. They go back to sleep and snuggle through the chilly morning air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The spring semester is even more rigorous. Clinicals are getting longer, labs are getting more specific. They have leadership and research projects to begin prepping them for their senior year, in addition to the usual flood of information related to care of patients with disorders of each system of the body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By Spring Break, their Friday evening parties are their only source of potential sanity and relief. Every week someone breaks down crying while they all comfort each other and drink their weight in liquor. Armie cries the Friday following Valentine’s Day because he got a 78 on what was supposed to be the semester’s easiest exam, and despite his solid Bs on most exams, being so close to failing </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrifies</span>
  </em>
  <span> him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick calls them in sick to work the following day and they spend the weekend curled up in bed, sharing soft kisses, and once they’ve showered and foraged for food, they end up in a 69, sucking each other’s cocks just for the endorphins and the sense of connection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick cracks the last week before Spring Break. He has work tomorrow night, but he also has a paper due, a series of proposals to submit for a Monday morning NSA meeting, and he feels grossly under prepared for the cardiac rhythm analysis test they have in the coming week, despite being the strongest among their friend group. Armie’s helping Kat’s father fix the refrigerator when Nick breaks down, and when Sean comes to summon him, Nick’s in the bathroom, huddled between Kat and Emma, crying himself to the point of gagging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie comes closest, stronger and bigger than either of the girls and best able to support Nick as the dark haired boy vomits up a concerning amount of what must be pure gin. They take him to the guest room that used to be Armie’s and take turns watching him for alcohol poisoning while Armie stays curled around his back, stroking his hair, his skin, his belly, holding his hands and kissing his neck when Nick starts to shake or cry in his sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie work’s Nick’s shift for him the following night and Kat volunteers to stay with Nick. When Armie gets home in the morning, he’s filled with a warm feeling at the sight of Nick curled up in Armie’s bed in one of Armie’s sweatshirts while Kat doses in her usual comfy study clothes on Nick’s bed. There’s remnants of pizza and cheesecake scattered between an obscene number of rhythm strips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spring Break is more subdued this year. They go their separate ways, Sean and Emma to San Francisco, Kat and Braden to San Diego to look into one of Braden’s residency options. Armie and Nick reserve a cabin near Big Sur and spend a good part of their break cuddling, hiking, wandering down to the beach, listening to the ocean, and napping. Not doing anything is exactly the week they need right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Surprising no one, Nick is elected President of their NSA, a role he slides into easily since practically running it the previous year. Armie gets a long winded letter from his mother, detailing her disappointment in him and requesting he reach out to a list of priests who are willing to perform an exorcism on him. Armie shreds the letter and Nick clicks away on his laptop, setting up deliveries of envelopes full of glitter to not just Michael’s office, but the family home and the Hammer Museum itself. Armie can’t contain his laughter when Nick also orders a solid chocolate penis for Dru, his note simply being a series of kiss emojis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They make it to the end of semester and at the last NSA meeting of the year, Nick shocks everyone by stepping down from President, having trained a very capable replacement in the recently elected VP and now President, Emma.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma is glowing with energy and accomplishment. Armie is overjoyed to have his boyfriend back, and Armie’s grateful for every moment they get together through the summer. They go to San Francisco for Pride, spend a week with Emma and Sean who are passionately discussing where precisely they’re headed after school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sean has decided oncology is too depressing, and instead is focusing on hospice care, wanting to assist those close to death through the process with dignity and comfort. Sean explains it as the most honorable acts of ministry one can provide to another human being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma is fascinated by the brain and is eyeing a handful of neurosurgical ICUs in the DC area, where she can go and fight for the causes she believes in as frequently as she wants on her days off. Other days, she expresses a desire to just stay in LA because it’s become home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spend the week wandering the city, enjoying the culture and history, smoking weed under the Golden Gate. It shocks Armie that almost three years have passed since Sean’s cousin Ricky passed and in a year, they’ll all be headed their separate ways. It terrifies him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they’re back in LA, putting in their schedules for work and school for the fall semester, Nick notices Armie’s silence after a while and crosses the room from his own bed to Armie’s sitting next to him and cuddling close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s on your mind?” Armie shrugs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m excited, you know? Because we’re almost done with the hardest thing we’ve ever done, but then everything’s going to change and it’s going to be a new kind of terrifying.” Armie confesses and wraps his arm around Nick, pulling him close and into his lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish I knew what to tell you.” Nick begins, his voice unsteady. “I’m just scared of the same thing. I don’t know what the future holds or what it means.” Nick squeezes him tight and Armie matches the clinging. “I promise we’ll take it one day at a time. And I love you, Armie. I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie hides his tears in Nick’s hair and whispers against his scalp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Ti amo. Ti amo</em> Niki.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat is the first to land a job in October. Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla had hired her into Labor and Delivery and she was over the moon. Braden had just started his residency at the same hospital so they would be staying together. She already drives down when she can to spend as much time as she can with him. On the rare occasions their time off lines up, she practically lives there with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lecture, lab, and clinicals feel like old hat. They’re all working on their capstone research projects and will go through their final preceptorships in Spring. Nick and Armie end up in the same lecture and lab but with different clinical days. Between Nick’s work schedule and their differing clinical days, plus all the time they both spend on their respective research projects, they only see each other really in the morning or at bedtime, plus on Friday evenings at Kat’s parties.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are none of the festive elements anymore. When someone announces they’ve found a job, there’s a brief celebration, but other than that, it’s liquor and nonstop NCLEX prep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In mid-November, Emma spends one of their Friday evenings agonizing about whether to more aggressively pursue Georgetown or George Washington University.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I’ve had great talks with recruiters from both places. Georgetown is non-profit and they have a dedicated neuroscience ICU, so I would love to go there, but GW is THE gold standard for Stroke Care. Ugh.” She flops back on the couch. Sean is simply present and peaceful, let’s Emma cuddle into him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they approach Thanksgiving, Armie finds himself speaking more and more to a travel nurse named Ashton, who has a wicked sense of humor, a big wide smile, and at first glance, seems like the biggest kid in the world. But his patient care is a phenomenal balance of compassion and prioritization.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My brother Tyler is one of the assistant managers in the ER at Cedars-Sinai. I could at least get you an interview.” Ash tells him one day after a particularly nasty trauma case. Armie had been a huge help in properly transferring and positioning the patient and being rock steady in his chest compressions. The patient had hung on to make it to surgery, and just knowing they’d done all they could in that moment gives Armie a feeling of accomplishment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do they hire new grads?” Armie asks and Ash nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anywhere prefers an experienced nurse, but you’ve got a couple years as an ED tech, and a damn good one at that, under your belt, so I know they’d like you. Plus the fact that you’re calm under pressure yet thrive in chaos is everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night, when Armie and Nick are curled up in bed, having drunkenly humped their way to coming on each others’ thighs, Armie can’t help himself from asking Nick his plans. He knows Nick has put out a few feelers here and there, but nothing concrete has come about yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do after this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm, sleep.” Nick mumbles and Armie chuckles at the way Nick nuzzles into his chest hair, his neck. “But I’ve always thought cardiovascular was really cool. I’d love to eventually do an open-heart cardiac ICU, but baby steps.” Nick sighs against his skin and Armie strokes his hand through Nick’s silky dark hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’ll be great wherever you go.” Armie whispers against his scalp. Nick makes a small sound of acknowledgement, but Armie can hear him snore softly on the very next breath. It doesn’t take long for Armie to join him in sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Thanksgiving, he reaches out and ends up with an interview with Ash’s brother Tyler. Tyler seems to be a bit of an off-beat nurse with his woven choker and long blond hair, but ER attracts all types. His smile is friendly and he projects an air of calm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The interview lasts about 45 minutes with Tyler discussing clinical concepts with him, his goals in nursing, why he wants to come to Cedars-Sinai (it’s a teaching hospital, a level 1 trauma center, and it will be an excellent environment to pursue nursing research.) At the end of the interview, Tyler hums and smiles, skimming through a folder in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you’ll be graduating in May, correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.” Armie confirms and he sees Tyler glance at his calendar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to officially run it by my boss, but as far as I’m concerned, you have a spot in our July nursing residency.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie is on cloud nine the rest of the day.  He places a take-out order at the little Italian restaurant Nick loves, and while he waits for it to be ready, he finds himself wandering through a nearby strip mall, temporarily distracted by a jewelry shop. Armie’s heart skips a beat when he thinks of Nick and wonders if the kind of rings he finds himself admiring are on Nick’s mind too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stefano, the chef that threatened him years ago, now greets him with a booming exclamation of joy and a massive hug. Stefano gives them extra bread and meatballs and reminds Armie to take care of Nick. Nick kicks him later that night when Armie teases him with his given name, but after dinner, they roll around in bed together, kissing, touching, sucking. Armie makes sure he gets Nick off at least twice, sucking him through two orgasms before slicking his cock, Nick’s thighs and thrusting in, feeling his dark-hair lover squirm and moan in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie waits until Nick is panting, sighing, whining, on the verge of coming again before he lets himself go, his come coating Nick’s thighs as Nick’s cock pulses in his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did all that come from?” Nick asks lightly when they’ve settled into the afterglow, most of their sticky release wiped away on a spare shirt or underwear. Armie blushes, shrugs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We just haven’t done that a lot lately, and I miss it.” Armie states simply. Nick looks at him with such a look of longing and sadness, Armie doesn’t know what to do other than gather him into his arms and kiss his head. “I’m sorry if I made you upset by saying that.” Nick shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that. We’re all just running on fumes and scared and I don’t think any of us are at our best right now.” Nick sighs. “I can’t wait till winter break. What do you think about Paris this year, hm?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“City of love.” Armie hints with a grin he can’t hold back. Nick blushes lightly and leans in, giving Armie a slow, deep kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With the man I love, oh yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the semester is over, they’re so eager to leave LA, they have the flight to Paris booked for the afternoon following their final exam. Final exam day is, per usual, celebrated with excessive amounts of alcohol and a gathering at Kat’s. Emma is strangely exuberant, having decided to stay in LA and having landed a job in the neuro step-down unit at UCLA medical center. Sean has been in contact with several hospice companies, all of whom seem deeply eager to meet him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie decided to keep quiet about his interview with Tyler. He’ll share the news with Nick while they’re in Paris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sleep most of the way through their flights. Armie suggests using the NCLEX review apps on their phones but Nick makes a face, shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to think about school or the NCLEX unless I have to on this trip.” Nick explains, rubbing his eyes. Armie pulls him as close as their airplane seats allow and Nick sighs into his shoulder as Armie rubs his back, finger-combs his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re both near dead on their feet by the time they arrive in Paris. Even though they’d tried sleeping on the planes, and Nick had invested in first class seats for both legs of their flight, they were both tall enough it hadn’t been particularly comfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s early evening when they arrive in Paris and in the cab on the way to the hotel, Nick takes his phone out, makes a call, catches Armie’s attention when his French is just as fluid and natural as his Italian. When Nick’s off the phone, he curls against Armie’s side as much as the backseat allows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I weren’t so fucking exhausted, I hope you know I’d be all over you when we get to the hotel because hearing you speak French might be even hotter than hearing you speak Italian.” Armie whispers into his hair and he can feel Nick’s lips grinning when they press to his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cabbie looks like he wants to say something about their closeness when they arrive but when they’re all outside the car and he realizes Armie is at least a foot taller than him, he backs down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A young man carrying a delivery of food enters the lobby as they’re finishing check in, and Nick nods to him, speaking a few quick words of gratitude in French as he takes the bags. Armie handles both their suitcases so Nick can carry their food and open the room when they get upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They eat standing up at Nick’s suggestion so they don’t fall asleep in the middle of chewing. There’s a nice bottle of champagne in the room, not too dry and not too sweet, and they share it over a generous shared portion of French comfort food. As tempting as the bed with its silky sheets and soft fluffy comforter looks, they decide to shower, getting the stale, lingering funk of plane air off their bodies and hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wrapped up in the steam and hot water, they trade lazy kisses, Nick humming and settling his head on Armie’s shoulder while Armie slowly rocks them, grateful for this moment of holding Nick in his arms; he’s missed his boyfriend and best friend so much, having him here is everything he needs in this moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gotta let me go for a second, I need to pee.” Nick murmurs after a while and Armie kisses his temple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We still have to scrub, if it’s not too weird, just go.” Armie answers him and while Nick doesn’t give a verbal response, Armie can feel his body relax into him more and something’s running down his inner thigh, just slightly cooler than the shower water. It’s enough with the shower’s rushing water for Armie to do the same, shifting to he won’t be pissing on Nick as much and lets his bladder go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not quite sexy, but the easy intimacy with which they regard each other’s bodies and most basic needs gives Armie a warm feeling somewhere very deep down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They wash then, lathering each other’s bodies with lingering touches from gentle hands. Armie nearly passes out on his feet when Nick starts giving him a scalp massage while shampooing his hair. Nick catches him, chuckles, kisses him soft.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they’re rinsed and dry, teeth brushed, they crawl into bed together. Furry chests and thighs meet, long legs tangling, Nick’s foot hooking around Armie’s ankle as they settle in close. It’s nice to have a large bed like they usually do on vacation but Armie can’t imagine sleeping with Nick and not being completely wrapped up in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their cocks meet, still mostly soft in their respective nests of damp curls. Armie knows they’re both on the verge of falling asleep, but he can’t help himself, thrusting lightly until they’re both half hard. Nick makes quiet noises of pleasure, then lets out an enormous yawn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re adorable.” Armie mumbles as Nick blushes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re amazing.” Nick’s voice fades out towards the end but he’s able to rock his hips forward, meeting Armie’s sloppy humping with his own. Armie’s progressing past half-hard and Nick’s cock is beginning to leak pre-cum against his inner thigh, but Nick also appears to be dozing in and out of sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this a good idea? I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Armie says, realizing that he most definitely shouldn’t have started this if Nick couldn’t properly consent to it, but Nick lets out a tiny moan and pushes his cock into Armie’s with a few quick, hungry thrusts of his hips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is my consent, a thousand times over. I don’t care if I sleep through it. My balls hurt, Armie. I haven’t come in nearly two weeks.” Armie winces. He’d managed a quick jerk off in the shower every few days but he’s not entirely sure his balls would survive not being emptied for a couple weeks. “Just make me come, Armie. Please, please…” Another yawn. “Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both doze in and out of their continued cuddling and humping but when Armie realizes they’re both fully hard and Nick is panting and grunting in his sleep, he works his hips faster until Nick lets out a long, low moan and thick bursts of come soak into the hair of his groin and inner thigh. It’s enough to tip Armie over the edge and come against fold where Nick’s thigh meets his groin. Armie’s not even sure he’s done coming when he slips into sleep himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The days leading up to Christmas are spent wandering the city, visiting the Louvre and Notre Dame. The trees and streets are decorated in the most magical, delicate lights, and Armie never misses a chance to pull Nick into a long kiss somewhere he can sense his boyfriend glowing with joy and peace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Christmas Eve, Nick’s mother FaceTimes him early in the morning, and Armie leans over his shoulder, letting Nick snuggle close while they talk. Nick’s mother doesn’t react precisely, but her features are more stiff once it’s clear that Nick has happily taken up residence curled to Armie’s chest. Armie kisses him long and deep after the call is over, slides their pajamas off, slicks Nick’s inner thighs and works Nick through two powerful orgasms before finally allowing himself to succumb to his own pleasure, coating Nick’s skin in his seed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you know Ash from work, right?” Armie begins over lunch and Nick’s quick to nod, sipping his water and blotting his mouth with his napkin before speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Little bit on the round side, dark hair, big smile?” Nick clarifies and Armie is quick to confirm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s him. So, his brother is one of the assistant managers in the ER at Cedars-Sinai. I interviewed with him a few weeks ago and I got an email yesterday offering me a job.” Armie can’t contain his excitement, beaming by the end of announcing his news.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s so awesome, Armie!” Nick’s reaction is immediate, joy, slipping out of his chair to come around the table, wrap Armie in a long hug followed by a deep kiss. “I’m so happy for you.” Nick whispers against his lips, knowing Armie’s inclination towards trauma nursing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s only after lunch and they’re headed back to the hotel by way of the Eiffel Tower, that Armie realizes Nick’s smile was no longer reaching his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sex that night and the nights that follow is long, almost desperate, and fluctuates between brutally claiming and impossibly tender. Nick fucks him so many times that Armie’s damn near sure he’s going to be leaking cum into his boxers for the rest of this vacation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie in turn, does everything he can to satisfy Nick’s suddenly increased sexual appetite. He sucks Nick’s cock, tonguing and teasing his foreskin, deep throating him and moaning around the over-sensitive head until Nick comes down his throat. He fingers Nick’s tight little hole until it’s puffy and red and eats him out until Nick is incoherent with pleasure. Armie’s mildly concerned about getting friction burns on his dick from the sheer number of times he fucks into Nick’s thighs, rubbing his big dick along Nick’s taint and balls until they’re both sweaty and sticky, glued together with tacky drying bodily fluids.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning of New Year’s Eve, Nick is up before him, curled into a chair on the balcony, smoking from his little blown glass pipe, drinking coffee, and staring out at the city. Armie immediately puts his pajamas on and takes another blanket outside. There’s a lounger beside the chair and when Armie settles into it, Nick immediately finds his way into Armie’s lap. His skin is cold when he bumps his nose into Armie’s neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Armie keeps his voice as gentle and steady as he can, but he’s scared. Nick’s never been like this before. They’ve definitely had periods where they have more sex, or less sex, but never this constant, desperate need to be physically intimate this frequently. Nick sighs heavily against his neck and Armie resists the urge to push, let Nick gather his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got a job offer the day after we got here.” Nick finally says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s great!” Armie is immediately happy for Nick. Brilliant Nick who had shockingly been the last in their little group to hear anything like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is.” Nick’s voice sounds sad and Armie’s stomach drops.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why do you sound so devastated?” Nick squeezes him into a tighter hug and Armie matches his clinging. “Is it in something you don’t really want to do? Because you’re so bright, Niki. You’re amazing and anywhere would be so lucky to have you.” Nick sobs at that and Armie goes rigid, turning his head into Nick’s hair to kiss the back of his head. “Baby, what’s wrong? Niki?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes Nick several minutes to gather his composure, finally fighting off a sniffle and turning his head to speak more clearly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s the exact opposite. I want this job so fucking bad.” Nick whispers and Armie combs his fingers through Nick’s hair. There had to be a catch, some reason why this sounded like the end of the world to Nick. “I got a position on a telemetry unit, with the guarantee that if I commit to five years at the hospital, after a year on telemetry, I can proceed to cardiac ICU.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Five years is a long time, but this sounds like a great opportunity.” Armie says gently. Nick can be a bit of an unpredictable free spirit when the mood strikes and Armie does have a bit of trouble imagining Nick being forced to stay in one place for that long when just being in LA for college, even with all their travel, seems to be making him itch under his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is.” Nick’s voice sounds wet again and Armie can feel fresh tears against his neck. Armie presses his cheek to Nick’s hair and rubs his back through a few sobs Nick’s trying so hard not to let out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes another several minutes but Nick finally swallows, sniffs, lifts his head to look Armie in the face. He’s never seen sorrow quite like this in his friend’s beautiful dark eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Niki.” Armie whispers, leaning in and kissing him softly. Nick sighs into his mouth and brings his arms up around Armie’s neck, rests their foreheads together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s at Mount Sinai.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nick moves to New York in June and Armie spends two weeks helping him move. They formally broke up at the end of the school year, the fear of such a long distance relationship bigger than either of them could bring themselves to face. Armie’s heart hurt too much at the idea that Nick would still be his but thousands of miles away. It could be months between hugs, long kisses, sleepy morning cuddles, or lazy nights of video games, beer, and weed. Nick would always be his very best friend, but Armie knows Nick deserves happiness and a relationship where he gets the frequency and level of fulfillment he deserves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t stop them from fucking all day the last day before Armie goes back to LA. Nick’s working one of the biggest, most uncomfortable looking dildos Armie’s ever seen in and out of his hole when Armie gets back from grabbing coffee and breakfast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For only the second time, Armie’s able to put his cock into Nick. It’s still so painfully tight and Nick’s so wound up emotionally, it makes it even harder than the first time. They both cry but find completion, Nick coming across their bellies, Armie not even needing to thrust, just the rhythmic squeezes of Nick’s body milking his orgasm out of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t goodbye, you know.” Armie says softly, when Nick takes him to the airport. Nick steps into the circle of his arms and they hold each other tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not to us. Not to our friendship, or the fact that I love you. But it’s a big change.” Nick whispers and they hold onto each other for as long as they can before Armie looks at the clock and realizes he has to go. Neither of them look back once they part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie gets blind drunk in the airport bar and cries most of the flight home.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>During their visit to Paris, they snuggle and shower together. Nick has to pee and Armie tells him to just go in the shower. It's not presented in a sexual context but more a reflection of intimacy. When they go to bed, exhausted, they're both horny but falling asleep while they hump. Armie is worried that he's taking advantage of Nick, but Nick gives his enthusiastic consent for Armie to continue their frottage even if Nick falls asleep.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part Three: Elizabeth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The world is difficult post-Nick.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I AM SO SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG AND I'M SO FUCKING THANKFUL FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS SENT ME LOVE AND SUPPORT ABOUT THIS CHAPTER! I hated writing this chapter but it was somewhere we needed to go to lead up to how Armie is before he meets Timmy. The next two chapters will be much happier but this chapter is a bit rough. Be on the lookout for emotional manipulation/abuse, minor physical violence, and homophobic language.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Armie passes his NCLEX in 75 questions, same as Emma and Kat. Sean is the unlucky soul in his session that gets the full 265. It’s one of the few times Armie’s seen Sean really rattled and when their scores post, they celebrate Sean extra loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They go to San Diego where Braden has the weekend off and crash on their living room floor, the five of them partying long through the weekend, surfing, playing volleyball on the beach, eating way too much good Mexican food in Olde Town.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s orientation to the emergency room is fast and unrelenting. Some days, he can barely get his feet under him, and more days than not, he can’t keep up with even their minimalist charting, but by the end of his orientation, when he meets with Tyler, the man smiles wide, claps him on the shoulder. Assures him he did great, and welcomes him officially to the team.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie throws himself into extra shifts, especially when they offer double pay. All the money he had set aside from his parents had run pretty much dry just after graduation. Armie never told Nick, but it was one of the reasons he was so scared to even consider moving to New York with him. He knew Nick was basically a trust fund baby and would have been more than happy to support Armie but he hadn’t known how long it might take him to find a job and he couldn’t just be Nick’s house husband indefinitely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie still has trouble walking past jewelry stores.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s work ethic, strong stomach, and ability to think under pressure catches the attention of unit leadership and the trauma team, and more often than not he’s placed with more and more critical patients. Even if he isn’t part of the trauma team yet, he’s usually responsible for keeping them stable until they go to ICU or surgery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s busy running antibiotics into the IJ of a man who came in with three gunshot wounds and an open tib-fib fracture when the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen walked into the bay in the hospital’s ill-fitting, light blue surgical scrubs. She’s tall with long dark hair pulled up in an effortless bun, a few wispy strands escaping around her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you able to help me reduce his leg?” She speaks quickly and it’s only the adrenaline rush he gets during these types of cases that allows him to respond promptly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, what do you need me to do?” Armie finishes hanging the antibiotic, makes sure the pressure bag is inflated for the guy’s fluid bolus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just hold traction.” The woman says as she leaves the room, returns with the ortho splinting cart. “We just need to keep everything aligned till we can get in there and take over.” Armie nods his understanding. The trauma team would have OR 2 ready in about twenty minutes to begin going after the bullets lodged throughout the patient’s chest. His chest tube is putting out a mildly concerning amount of blood but his a-line shows his vitals are holding for now. If he’s still doing well when they’re done with cardiothoracic surgery, ortho is going to take over while he’s under anesthesia to repair his leg. He’s already intubated and sedated so there’s no need to for anything additional before they pull his leg into place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once the gorgeous woman has everything set up, with surprising strength, she pulls, carefully twists, and the patient’s leg comes back into better alignment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold.” Armie takes over, pulling hard to hold traction as the woman quickly covers the open wounds with Xeroform, a layer of gauze, then begins to wrap and shape the strips of plaster, Armie carefully but quickly moving as she needs him to when it’s time to shape the heel. X-Ray is there not thirty seconds after they finish and Armie looks at the screen along with the technician and the doctor, watching her wide mouth curl up in a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good work, kiddo.” Her eyes flash to him, a hunger in her eyes that Armie’s no-longer a stranger to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie.” He supplies, feeling strangely small and childish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Elizabeth Chambers, orthopedics resident.” She gives him a fine boned hand and he matches her firm handshake. “We should get drinks. Saturday, at the Hive. Nine o’clock.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then she’s gone, the only signs she’d ever existed at all the splint on his patient’s leg and the lingering hint of a timeless floral perfume.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wearing anything but scrubs or his casual wear is strange for Armie, but he finds a pair of dark jeans that hug his ass a little more than he’s really comfortable with, and a deep purple, short-sleeved button down. Armie’s got a relatively dressy pair of ankle boots, and he decides on those before making his way downtown.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a beautiful spring evening and he’s tempted as hell to take the motorcycle he treated himself to with his tax refund, but it’s been a long time since he’s been on a date and he has a strong feeling he’s going to need more than just a little liquid courage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he gets out of the Uber, Dr. Chambers is standing at the door, flirting lightly with the bouncer and wearing a very short, very sexy red bodycon dress and mile-high gold heels. Her long dark hair is thick and wavy, perfectly coiffed to loosely tumble over her shoulders and down her back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie!” She calls as soon as she spots him, her teeth glowing white as she smiles at him, sliding an arm around his waist when he joins her at the door. “Was lovely talking to you.” She nods to the bouncer and leads them inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They go up to the upper level, to the VIP booths and to a table in the back where there are several other attractive folks that Armie recognizes as senior and chief residents from various services. Some smile genuinely, nod at him as a familiar face, and go about their business but one doctor that Armie recognizes from general surgery (and isn’t particularly fond of) gives him a once-over that is pure disapproval.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Archie, is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie.” Armie corrects him and the doctor just makes a small noise, nods to him, and makes it a point to turn the conversation to the incompetence of nurses they’ve met. Armie immediately is filled with anger, but Dr. Chambers (Elizabeth? Is he supposed to call her that here?) puts a hand on his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well Dr. Jasper, I know you’re not as fond of that nurse that fixed the wound vac you messed up on 7 West last week, but it really was an excellent catch. We were consulted about the possible amputation.” Elizabeth rattles off the case and it’s obvious that Dr. Surgical Asshole wasn’t expecting that response. “But that ICU nurse who taught you how to use the ultrasound so you could place that central line in our trauma patient was quite helpful, no?” The man is bright red by now and a few of the other physicians at the table are snickering. “If that trialysis catheter hadn’t gone in, I’m pretty sure you would have been the one to have to call the family about comfort measures.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you.” Dr. Jasper slams his glass to the table and storms away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that!” One of the neurosurgeons at the other end of the table speaks up. “Armie, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the night runs much more smoothly. Armie’s set aside enough over the past few months to easily buy the table’s next bottle and after enough shots to qualify as anesthesia, the group heads down to the dance floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s heart is pounding in his chest, aware he’s going to be the awkward tall guy on the dance floor. The last time he danced in a club was with Niki and the aid of the ecstacy he’d taken that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie snags a drink from a waitress passing out a new cocktail the bar had developed. He knocks it back in one, leaves a $20 on the tray and joins Elizabeth on the dance floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s a natural, all the confidence and rhythm of someone who grew up dancing or cheering, long golden limbs, the bounce of her wavy hair. Her boldness gives Armie the courage to bob along well enough next to her and she’s had enough to drink that she’s giggly, flirty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth takes his hands, guides them along to the beat then brings them down to her hips as she turns into his arms, grinding her firm butt against the front of his jeans and with that distraction, Armie allows Elizabeth to guide him through several songs, each of them grabbing from the trays of shots that make their way around the edges of the dance floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie loses track of time but they’re sweaty and floating on a cloud of adrenaline when Elizabeth takes his hand, guides him out of the club into a waiting Uber. Armie wants to ask what all this means before they go further, but Elizabeth is in his lap, swallowing his tongue down, nails scratching his scalp, the back of his neck. Sitting with her legs spread across his meaty thighs, her dress rides up and Armie finds himself cupping her ass to preserve her modesty as much as he is to stroke and caress.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Uber pulls up at a stylish looking condo and Elizabeth practically throws a $20 at the driver before dragging Armie out of the car. When they’re inside, Elizabeth kisses him again, just as long and fierce as last time. Her lush lips, silky soft skin, and the cloud of hair and floral perfume is intoxicating and entirely female, but she kisses like a person who is completely and utterly sure of exactly what they want. It’s different than anything he’s experienced with a partner before and despite being more than a little overwhelming, it’s undeniably sexy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Armie reaches down, guides her dress up around her hips, then slides his hands to cup her firm buttocks, he feels her gasp as he easily lifts her off the ground, guiding her legs around his hips. She’s almost as tall as he is, all long limbs, perfectly toned muscle, golden sun-kissed skin and damn if that didn’t mean Armie had a type, but he’s not going to think about that right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth lets his lips go after what feels like forever and rests her forehead against his as they catch their breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last door on the left.” Elizabeth pants out and Armie nods, takes a few steps to carry her down the hall. “Oh, ew, no, wait.” Elizabeth says suddenly and Armie’s stomach drops. He quickly and carefully puts her down, unsure of what he’d done wrong or what she’d seen to prompt such a reaction. “Take your boots off, I just had the carpet shampooed this week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Armie’s quick to do as she asked. They were just about to leave the hardwood of the hallway and who knows what might be on his shoes that could mess up Elizabeth’s immaculate white carpet. Armie keeps his work shoes in a box on his tiny porch from an infection control point, so he gets where Elizabeth is coming from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Placing his boots by the door, he turns to find Elizabeth already gone and rushes to catch up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s been a while since he’d been on any kind of date, never mind someone pursuing him aggressively enough to want to take him home. He’s had little encounters here and there. There was an older guy for a while who seemed to take a similar path to Armie’s when jogging and one day, the subtle tension had boiled over. They’d found a tiny grove of trees just off the beaten jogging path and quickly jerked each other to an orgasm. It wasn’t the best handjob in the world (Kat and Nick had both been so much better) but the thrill of getting off in public was naughty enough to push him over the edge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, when the guy said to make sure he lubed up before they went running the next day, Armie found a different jogging route. Too intimate, too soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d gone on a couple dates with one of the occupational therapists from the rehab department. She was funny and pretty, and they could laugh about the same patient shenanigans, even if Armie’s humor ran much darker than her’s. But none of their outside pursuits matched up. She wasn’t much of an adventurous eater, didn’t read much other than enough news to stay informed, and would sooner be found enjoying a quiet night of wine tasting at a museum before going to the beach or camping. They were just very different people and parted amicably. Before their last date, they had tried for sex, but her housemate was home and when they determined that sex in the car was not happening with Armie’s stature, he had slipped his fingers under her dress and worked her through enough orgasms to leave her breathless. So much so that she declined Armie’s subtle request for her to jerk him off or if she really felt up to it, maybe blowing him. He’d of course taken her seriously, stuffed his stubborn cock into his waistband and let the pressure of the seatbelt and waistband on the ride home will it back into submission.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then there were the handful of failed hook up apps. Tinder wasn’t his favorite thing and it seemed like such an impersonal way to meet people. As much as he learned to enjoy sex with Kat and Nick, for the longest time, he still wanted an actual relationship with the person before he had to put them through dealing with his ridiculously oversized cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’d given up on relationships, partly because of a lack of options, partly because of his focus on work, he’d decided to at least give hookup culture a try. Just sex. There was some connection in sex itself so why not?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A couple sloppy handjobs and drunken kisses in gay clubs, followed by the appraisal that he was too big, too hairy, too something for anyone to want to fuck. And none of the men seemed to want to let him fuck them either. Occasionally, what Armie had learned were categorized as “twinks” would sidle up to him, flirty, then grab his cock when it got later and darker. One had accused him of stuffing and practically dragged him to the bathroom, tugged his zipper down and dragged Armie’s cock right out of his underwear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit.” The man had whispered and Armie, still reeling from the boldness of the action, was frozen, unsure what he was supposed to do at that point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God help the poor soul that has to deal with that monster. Wooo.” The man had left as quickly as he’d dragged Armie in and that had been the nail in the coffin for his hook up life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s cautiously optimistic as he makes his way down the hallway to Elizabeth’s room, hopeful that he can at least get her off a couple times, so if she’s feeling generous, she might be willing to give him a handjob. He missed having the intimate touch of a partner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth’s room is as meticulously organized as everything else about her, soft shades of pastel with the occasional jewel tones and shimmer that somehow don’t quite fit, but bring a sense of edge to the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s barefoot at her vanity, reapplying her lipstick when her eyes flick to him. Her dark eyes flick to him and when she’s done touching up her makeup, she turns and makes her way to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s so perfect, so incredibly beautiful in the soft light of the bedroom, he’s almost afraid to touch, but her eyes soften from hungry to something Armie can’t put a word on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They embrace, Elizabeth’s hands nimbly popping the buttons on the front of his shirt. Armie begins by hesitantly stroking her hair, almost expecting it to be rigid with product, but it’s soft and smells good when he pulls her closer, runs his hand over the back of her head, presses his lips to her forehead and ends up buried with his nose in her hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth hums, lets out a little laugh then pushes his shirt down and off, hands going to his waistband. Armie immediately freezes but Elizabeth either ignores or doesn’t care about how tense he’s gone as she works his fly down, thumbs in his underwear then a tug and his pants are at his knees. Armie swallows hard and isn’t sure if he should be trying to make his semi go away or if he should let Elizabeth know up front that this is what she has to deal with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you not find the zipper?” Elizabeth asks lightly, teasing and Armie shakes his head to clear his thoughts, listening to her musical laugh as she drags his hands to her back, finding the zipper on this so very snug dress. Armie has a little trouble getting it to tug initially, but once he realizes there’s a tiny hook in play too, it gets much easier and he pulls the zipper down, allowing his knuckles to graze along her back’s soft, warm skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally has her dress unzipped to the point it falls and she can easily step out of it, she’s left in nothing but the skimpiest lace nude thong and Armie swallows hard at all the tanned, silky skin on display. He keeps himself gentlemanly when he glances at her breasts, not too big and not too small with prominent nipples he immediately finds himself wanting to suck on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie wants to open his mouth, ask what he’s allowed to do, but Elizabeth takes charge again, taking him by the wrist and using an encouraging yet firm tug to pull him towards the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re nervous, let’s start with you on your back.” Elizabeth instructs, clear and crisp as ever and Armie doesn’t know if it’s more or less exciting that she’s still so herself during sex.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Armie finds himself saying dumbly, lying back on the bed and watching Elizabeth drop her tiny little thong as she climbs onto the bed, graceful and determined. At least his dick is interested in the proceedings because about the only thing he can imagine being more embarrassing than the size of his dick itself, would be the damn thing being limp between his legs in the face of such an attractive woman.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm.” Elizabeth’s currently sizing his dick up like he’s an injury she’s about to assess before she quickly springs into action, grabbing a little bottle of water based lube from the nightstand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t want to because it’s too big, I understand. I’m happy to eat you out or finger you or do whatever you want.” He offers and Elizabeth lets out a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate the concern, but I think I can handle it. I’ve got a toy almost as girthy and it’s one of my go-to’s so you shouldn’t be a problem at all.” She’s got a condom in hand now, which she rolls easily over his penis. It’s the same brand Armie got himself all those years ago and it’s still bordering on too tight. Her hand then pops the lube, slicks a generous helping along his penis, then swings her leg over and wow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s not sure he made the most dignified sound or face in the moment, but all his brain is registering is warm, slick, tight, wet all around his cock. Elizabeth is moaning as she settles onto his hips, rocks her hips lightly a couple times, the drag of her body around Armie making him gasp and shiver. So, that’s what a vagina felt like. Wow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth wasn’t kidding that his size wasn’t a problem, she’s already lightly bouncing on his dick, moaning as she guides his body for her pleasure. As much as Armie wants to have a role, something, anything, it’s kind of hot that she’s this confident, this powerful, using his body for what she needs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, you feel amazing.” Armie gasps out, reaching down between her legs, using the slick of her body and the lube to get his fingers good and wet before dragging them to her clit, working it in circles, gently then a little firmer when she responds positively to the touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Armie, just like that.” She pants out. “Yes, yes…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t take her too long to come and watching her toss her head, eyes closing as she shouted her pleasure to the room is enough to send him over the edge, the spasms and quakes of her body around him milking the wave after wave of come out of his pulsing cock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure how he has the presence of mind to secure the condom at the base of his dick because as soon as her orgasm has passed, Elizabeth takes a long, slow breath, then she’s up and off his cock, padding towards the bathroom while he’s still processing how weird it felt to have her pull off so abruptly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bathroom door door shuts and Armie sits up, swings to the side of the bed. There’s a box of tissues on the nightstand housed in a plush pink holder and he pulls out a couple, holds them under his dick as he peels the condom off carefully, tying it in a knot and tossing it into the little trashcan next to her dresser.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s not exactly sure what he’s supposed to do now and he feels weirdly vulnerable, the last part of his virginity stripped away so business like in this neat, bright room. Padding over to his pants, he quickly collects his underwear, pulls it on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He collects Elizabeth’s tiny thong and brightly colored dress from the floor, folds the dress carefully and places it on the soft padded bench just past the foot of her bed. Debates putting his shirt on and has gotten to picking it up when the bathroom door opens, Elizabeth emerging in a short silky pajama set.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Armie blushes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know if you wanted me to go away, but if so, I at least wanted to say goodbye.” Elizabeth laughs lightly, shakes her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re staying, now go wash your face and brush your teeth. There’s a new toothbrush on the counter.” And with that she seats herself at her vanity and gets to work carefully removing her makeup. Armie does as he’s asked, told? Either way, he takes one of the neatly rolled washcloths from the basket between two sinks, wets it, uses a bar perched next to the toothbrush holder to soap it up, scrubs his face and brushes his teeth. Looks to the toilet and bites his lip hard. Armie knows that Elizabeth will be on his case immediately if there was even a drop of urine anywhere on her perfectly white toilet but the drinks at the club have caught up to him and he really has to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s uncomfortable but he sits to pee, holds his still heavy cock so it won’t drop into the water, but keeps it pointed down, minimizing splashing when his body finally relaxes and lets him urinate. After that, it’s a little easier to flush the toilet, wash his hands, make his way back to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth is now in bed, tapping away on her phone. Armie carefully approaches the bed, crawls under the covers next to her. Armie cautiously moves towards the middle, opens an arm for her to cuddle in if she wants. She doesn’t ignore his offer though. She smiles, reaches down and pats his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re decent boyfriend material.” Then she’s lying down with her back to him, clicking the lights off through an app on her phone. Armie brings his arm back to himself, rolls over to face the darkness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They find a routine over the next several months. Elizabeth will appear out of nowhere or text him, giving him a location, a date, and a time. They go to dinner almost every week, and about once a month they’ll go to the park or the beach or even just shopping. Elizabeth has very expensive taste, but she also has an unrelenting eye for a bargain, hits the sales, and when those still leave her short, she shrugs, pulls a credit card out of her purse and swipes it without a second thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A couple times a month, they have sex. Elizabeth is a little warmer, spontaneous each time, but Armie knows her well now. The structure, the poise, the control is so much a part of who she is that he doesn’t expect her to change that much just for sex. She lets him try different positions with her, but nixes reverse cowboy and doggy style, her mouth twisting in displeasure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s demeaning.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they do agree on a position, she often starts off telling him how to move his hips and coaches him until he’s doing something to make her moan and sigh. Armie is grateful for the guidance if it lets her actually get some pleasure from his giant dick and when he doesn’t find completion while he’s inside her, she’ll pet his hair when he reaches for the nightstand, gathers a handful of tissues and places them to catch his semen when he finally does come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Thanksgiving is approaching, Elizabeth marches up to him when he’s putting his schedule in at the nursing station.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pay for the flights if you cover the rental.” Armie’s eyes go wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” Elizabeth rolls her eyes and sighs heavily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armie, we’ve been dating for over six months. You’re coming to Thanksgiving with my parents in Denver.” It’s the first time Armie’s ever heard that they’re officially dating and he nods slowly even as his stomach drops.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promised my friends I would go to San Diego for their Friendsgiving.” Elizabeth scoffs, crosses her arms across her chest with a huff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re college friends, Armie. You didn’t go last year?” Armie shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They didn’t have it last year because we were all so busy, and it’s been so long since I’ve seen them. How about you come with me to San Diego then maybe we can go see your parents for the weekend? I think I’m off through Sunday that week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you don’t have a girlfriend anymore.” She turns on her heel and Armie sighs heavily, texts his friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A: Hey guys, hope everyone is well! There’s been a change of plans, I totally forgot we’re going to be in Colorado with Elizabeth’s parents for Thanksgiving and Black Friday. I can come Saturday and Sunday though.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>E: What the fuck? We’ve been planning this for over a year, how could you just forget this is a thing and make plans with your girlfriend?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>E: I want to meet her. I don’t trust her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>S: That’s unfortunate, Armie. I can't say I’m not disappointed that you won’t be there, but if this relationship is so serious, I understand.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>K: It would have been really nice to have you here. Braden works all weekend so he won’t be here, and I’ll be on call, but you’re always welcome with us.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>E: Bring your girlfriend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>E: We need to evaluate her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>S: Emma.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>S: We would love to meet her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>K: Absolutely! She’s totally welcome here!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A: I’ll ask her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie rents a midsize SUV for Thursday and Friday, then sends an enormous bouquet to Elizabeth’s condo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She calls him that night, still sounding less than happy but it’s at least better than the radio silence he’s gotten when he tried to reach out to her over the last couple days.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m paying for your flight to Denver, but since we’re flying back Sunday, I have no idea why you rented the car for only half our stay.” Armie swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m flying to San Diego first thing Saturday morning. I was hoping you would come with me. My friends really want to meet you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s several beats of silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe in the Spring. I don’t understand why you won’t stay with us through the weekend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because they’re my friends and I love them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m your girlfriend, don’t you love me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do!” Armie says, even if it’s not completely true. They do have a good thing going, but he’s not sure he would describe how he feels towards her as love. Still, this is his first successful post-Nick relationship and he desperately doesn’t want to fuck it up. He can’t go back to all those lonely, lonely months without physical contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth seems to have forgiven him to some degree by the time they leave for Denver. She’s still a little stiff in her movements and words, but she lets him walk with his arm around her waist and leans on his shoulder for part of the flight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth is the oldest of four kids, with a round, warm mother, and a father who seems to be assessing if Armie is some sort of farm animal to see if he’ll fit in appropriately. After several hours of appraising stares, the man sort of grunts, nods, and passes him a glass of brandy. Armie notices it's a different bottle than the one he pours for his own glass and he doesn’t know if he’s passed or failed his assessment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone goes to bed pretty promptly after the rather early dinner, eager to get up hours before the sun to fight their way to the best deals. Elizabeth is asleep beside him while he lies awake, scrolling lazily through his Facebook feed. When he refreshes it for the thousandth time, an announcement post is at the top and Armie swallows hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kat McKinnock is engaged to Braden Johnson</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a flood of pictures on the beach, playing, laughing, group photos with everyone cuddle piled onto each other. Then there’s a series of Emma distracting Kat at sunset while Braden sneaks up behind her. Kat’s shock as she turns and finds Braden on one knee. A tearful Kat as Braden reaches for her hand, then Kat’s tiny form swept up into Braden’s embrace as they share a passionate kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie blinks away a few tears, makes a point not to sniffle for fear of waking Elizabeth. Missing such a big event when everyone else was there to help and celebrate makes him feel like the worst friend in the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie dozes briefly, then finds himself refreshing his feed again. There’s a post of Emma and Sean crowded in with Kat and Braden, all of them happy and celebrating, then he sees a post from Kat that almost stops his heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Second best surprise I got today! So happy to have Nick Delli Santi with us tonight!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kat’s arms are tight around Nick as he extends an arm to snap a selfie. The sides of their faces are pressed together and Armie can hear, clear as ever in his mind, the happy squeal of joy Kat lets out when she gives those massive hugs, Nick’s ridiculous, endearing laugh as he grins so happily. </span>
  <span>Nick is almost even more beautiful than Armie remembers. He’s grown into his strong features and sharp jawline. His hair is shorter, more carefully styled and it shows off his face. His skin is a little paler in the absence of the California sun, but he looks well, fit and healthy and happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s phone slips from his hand and he lets a few tears go before he can stop himself. He’s let go of ever being with Nick again, but he wishes he could just get a hug and hang out with someone who understood him so well. Maybe even get his perspective on Elizabeth and what their somewhat cold but stable relationship means.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie falls asleep wondering what exactly he might say if he’d been there this weekend with Niki.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is this?!” Elizabeth’s shrill voice wakes him abruptly, leaning over him so her shriek is right over his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Armie blinks in the low light of the room, taking in Elizabeth’s beautiful face twisted in rage, his cell phone in her shaking hand. “What happen--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! You don’t get to talk. What the fuck is this garbage?” She clears her throat, puts on a faux-sweet falsetto dipped in sarcasm. “'Hey <em>handsome</em>! It’s Niki--I miss you so much! I’m sorry it didn’t work out you being here tonight, it would have been <em>so</em> nice to see you and chill for a few hours! This is my new number so if you want to catch up, just hit me up. Love you!'” She fixed him with an icy glare. “'Love you'? Love you! What kind of slut are you texting behind my back? Was this why you were so desperate to go to your pathetic little Friendsgiving?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Armie’s still barely awake, trying to catch up to her shouting. “I’m not texting anyone behind your back. Niki’s just my--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your what? Your side piece? Or is that me?” She snaps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! God, no! He’s my best friend and yeah, he’s my ex--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re cheating on me with your fucking ex?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! I’d never do that to you and Niki’s so fucking respectful, he’d never let me cheat on anyone I’m with.” Elizabeth’s glare doesn’t let up. “Really. Nick’s not that kind of guy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All the color drains from her face and a whole new level of fury takes over her features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Niki is a man?” Armie nods timidly, watching her face for any sign of reaction and it only takes a few minutes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t react in time to avoid the fierce slap she lays on his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You fucking pervert! It’s bad enough I let you put that, that...<em>thing</em> in me!” She waves at his underwear covered crotch in disgust. “And now I find out you’re a fucking fag? No wonder you’re so fucking bad in bed and being a boyfriend. I’m not a man, Armie! I don't understand how anyone could be as fucked up as you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie’s shocked speechless, his cheek stinging. He wants to wilt away and hide. Places his hands over his lap to hide the shameful appendage between his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth furiously taps away on his phone before chucking it quite forcefully at his chest, Armie wincing as it smacks against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get the fuck out!” Elizabeth yells and Armie’s finally able to move, scrambling into his clothes, grabbing everything he can that belongs to him before making a run for the door. </span>
  <span>Thankfully, his keys were in his jacket pocket so he at least has the keys for the rental. Elizabeth’s family look at him with a mix of shock and disapproval as he sprints through the front hall, out into the snow in his socks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie drives away and doesn’t look back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Armie arrives in San Diego around lunchtime on Saturday, he’s tired and sore from hanging out at the airport for so long. He had stopped into a Target, buying fucking flip-flops because they were the only thing to fit his weird, giant feet. All he feels is numbness and something like guilt, not quite regret. He was so fucking stupid to skip out on his friends and he hopes they’ll still accept his arrival.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking through his messages when he had first gotten to the airport in Denver, he had no problem finding and confirming Kat and Braden’s address, but when he scrolled to the top for his most recent messages, his heart sank. There was no new number at the top. The “hey handsome” start of his message is not anywhere within his conversations. Elizabeth must have deleted the number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can get it from Nick while they catch up. Or at least that’s what he hopes for, but doesn’t get because Nick is nowhere to be found when he arrives at the little house in San Diego.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma raises an eyebrow at him, the closest she’ll come to saying “I told you so,” when he looks like a kicked puppy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kat got called in. Braden’s working obviously. Sean had to go see a patient who started circling the drain. And I leave in an hour because I work tonight, but I’ll throw some leftovers in the microwave while you take a shower.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Nick?” Emma scoffs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nick went back to New York first thing Friday morning. He was really fucking looking forward to seeing you but he couldn’t stick around. He’s been in CVICU for four or five months already and he’s really been putting in a lot of extra hours to see if he can get placed in open-heart.” Armie’s gut sinks. That had been Nick’s dream but he hadn’t even been here to talk about it with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gotcha.” Armie says, low, and walks away, up the stairs towards the bathroom and shower, unable to take the mix of pity and disappointment in Emma’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s gone when he gets out of the shower, but there are warm leftovers in the microwave as promised, and Armie settles into the couch, wraps himself in a blanket on the back of the couch. Eats, watches football, almost numb. When he finally feels the first tingles of sleep latching onto him, he drags the blanket closer, takes a long inhale. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie cries himself to sleep when the blanket smells like Nick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Armie gets back to Los Angeles, things in the ER are tense and occasionally he gets a glare from one of the nurses Elizabeth is buddy-buddy with, or one of the orthopedic interns, some of whom have no idea what they’re talking about, are dispatched on behalf of Elizabeth, making patient care all the more frustrating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a week, he asks for a meeting with Tyler, explains the whole situation, watching the older man listen, hum, and nod slowly through Armie’s story before sighing heavily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish there was a good answer in this situation, Armie. Nothing about you two’s relationship goes against policy, but that also means it’s not quite my place to intervene in your interactions except to go to the orthopedics fellow and ask them to address her behavior. I don’t know how long it may take for her to behave professionally, but I’ve seen you. You’ve been making a point to behave extremely professionally and politely, but I can’t guarantee anything about anyone else’s behavior.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie nods slowly, chews his lip for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Ash still traveling?” Tyler nods, a small smile crossing his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Same phone number since he was 16.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armie writes out his two weeks notice in his careful, looping script, handing it to Tyler. When he gets home that night, he immediately starts packing, sorting, condensing the most important parts of his life into a few suitcases. He texts Ash and gets a friendly, excited text back with the contact information for Ash’s recruiter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes him most of the last two weeks at Cedars-Sinai to get all his paperwork back and forth with the recruiter, apply for an Arizona license because it’s the closest NLC state, but he interviews well and has a posting in Phoenix for eight weeks, starting Monday. </span>
  <span>At the end of his last shift, after handshakes and hugs and a cake they’d consumed bite by tiny stolen bite throughout the shift, he collects his bags from the break room, strips off his hospital issued scrubs, sneaks into the medical student locker rooms to shower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he’s dressed, he walks out into the night air and takes a Lyft directly to the airport.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things only get better from here.</p><p>And if I haven't already mentioned it: Armie/Timmy is the endgame. Just Armie/Timmy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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